Strawberry Gashes
by Rainpath
Summary: Emily and Marlin's relationship is tricky, Kara is having strage dreams, and Adriane's life seems to be spiraling downward, and no one is noticing. Adrianecentric, with Emily and Kara subplots . Rated for selfinjury and alcohol references.
1. Strawberry Gashes

**Yes, yes. I know, I have like, five or six other stories that need to be finished, but I **_**love**_** this plot, and I want to break out of my little junior high school-like plots (and spelling, and grammar, and downright awfulness) and I thought that this was the perfect oppurtunity to do so. Every chapter will have song in it, and I highly recommend listening to the songs because I think that they add to the story, but you'll still (hopefully) enjoy it without them. The song in this chapter, and the title of the story, is Strawberry Gashes by Jack off Jill. You can find a recording of it on YouTube, it's a "The Sims 2" movie that someone made that has this song to go with it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avalon Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song Strawberry Gashes, they belong to Rachel Roberts and Jack off Jill respectively. **

**And now, happy reading!**

_**Turn her over**_

_**A candle is lit, I see though her**_

_**Blow it out and save all her ashes for me**_

_**Curse me, sold her**_

_**The poison that runs its course through her**_

_**Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over, all over**_

_**Watch me fault her **_

_**You're living like a disaster**_

_**She said "kill me faster" **_

_**With strawberry gashes all over, all over**_

Adriane sat in a cold gray plastic chair in the hospital waiting room, her head in her hands. Her long, straight black hair fell over her face, and by her entire body language it was obvious to everyone there that she was exhausted.

"Miss?"

The fourteen-year-old lifted her head up wearily to look in to the face of a nurse in her late thirties or early forties. The woman gave her a sympathetic look before opening her mouth to speak again.

"I'm sorry, but your grandmother is very sick. She needs to go to another hospital where she can get better treatment."

Of course. Adriane already knew that. Stonehill wasn't exactly known for its hospitals. "Where is it? Have you made any arrangements?"

The nurse nodded. "Yes. We're having an ambulance pick her up and bring her to Greenfield Hospital, in Connecticut. They should be here in a few hours. However, I don't think you can stay here. Do you have any relatives you can call?"

Adriane shook her head. "My parents live in New York."

The nurse looked confused for a moment, then regained her composure. "Oh," She started. "What about your friends?"

"It's one AM," Adriane stated simply. The nurse nodded again. This conversation was beginning to annoy Adriane, and she began to feel an irrational hate towards the nurse. She's just doing her job, the warrior told herself. "Can I just go home?" She asked.

"Alone?"

"I'll be fine," The raven-haired girl said, trying to convince the nurse. The woman bit her lip, then seemed to come to an inner decision.

"Alright," She said, "but let me call a cab first. I don't want you walking all the way home at this hour, and I'm sure your grandmother wouldn't either."

_**Called her over and asked her if she was improving**_

_**She said "feels fine, it's wonderful-- wonderful here"**_

_**Hex me, told her**_

_**I dreamt of a devil that knew her**_

_**Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over, all over**_

Thirty minutes later, the black and white cab pulled up in front of the creepy-looking wrought-iron gates. The driver gave her a worried look. "You sure you'll be okay, kid?"

Adriane fought down the urge to snap at him. Instead, she just told him lifelessly, "I live here." The driver half-smiled and drove off. Adriane watched the tail-lights vanish into the night. She then lifted the iron latch on the gate and let it creak closed. She had only walked a few yards when she heard a rustling in the bushes. Even though she lived here, night-time forest sounds would freak anyone out. "Hello?" She called.

_"Adriane."_

The warrior instantly recognized the voice. "Lyra. Thank God. You scared me."

Lyra purred, the equivalent of a laugh. _"Little me, scared the big strong warrior?"_

Adriane smiled and continued to walk down the path. Lyra followed her, her pawsteps barely making a sound. _"How's Gran?"_

"She's going away, to a hospital that can take better care of her. Where's Dreamer?"

_"He went to go check on the other animals. He thinks something magical is to blame for Gran's illness."_

"He could be right." She said thoughtfully as they were approaching the cottage.

_"Perhaps. Do you want me to stay with you?"_

"Thanks, but I'll be okay. Go get Dreamer, though, could you?"

Lyra nodded and padded off into the woods.

Adriane reached above the porch lamp for the spare key. When she felt the cold metal in her hand, she scraped it off the lamp and deftly turned the lock. The door opened silently, and Adriane was greeted by a dark house. She flipped on the kitchen light and turned up the heat. It was late autumn, after all, and it was starting to get cold. She leaned against the counter and closed her eyes, trying to will the sudden feeling of loneliness away. She noticed the fruit basket to her left and grabbed a red apple and a knife from the cutlery set on top of the fridge. As she placed the apple on the cutting board, she caught her reflection on the thin knife.

As if instinct took over, she slowly drew the knife across her arm. The cut stung, but strangely, it didn't feel bad at all. She felt her anger and loneliness bubble over the top as the blood spilled over her skin. She watched in sick fascination as the red dripped onto the spotless white linoleum floor. Then the cut began to bleed faster, and the warrior quickly grabbed a paper towel from the roll and pressed it to her skin. The white towel was mostly red in a matter of seconds. Adriane began to panic. What if Lyra and Dreamer came back soon? How would she explain the cut to them?

She raced up the short flight of stairs to her bathroom, frantically searching for a bandage whilst holding her bleeding arm in the air. Finally, she found a pack of Band-Aids. They weren't the kind she was looking for, they were the big, square kind. But as far as she could see, there were no other choices. She quickly unwrapped the skin-color bandage and pressed it over the cut. There was blood on the vanity and the peach-colored tile floor, but what she was really worried about was the mess she'd made in the kitchen. She swiftly clambered down the steps and skipped over the last two. She ran water over a few sheafs of paper towel and cleaned up the blood before she heard Dreamer bark at the door. She threw away the towels and opened the door to Lyra and Dreamer.

_**Watch me fault her **_

_**You're living like a disaster**_

_**She said "kill me faster" **_

_**With strawberry gashes all over, all over**_

"It smells like blood in here," Dreamer commented. Lyra gave Adriane a curious look. The teen's dark eyes scanned the kitchen and fell precariously on the knife, still glaring red, sitting almost innocently on the counter.

"I'm going to change and go to bed," she stated, trying to hide the tremble in her voice. Lyra fixed emerald eyes on her. "Alright. I'll be back in the morning." With that, the leopard stepped out the door.

"Dreamer, you can run upstairs now. I'll be up in a few seconds."

The wolf, blood-scent forgotten, bounded up the stairs. Adriane turned on the faucet and picked up the knife. She put dishwashing liquid on a small hand towel and wiped the knife clean of any blood. When she finished, she, too, climbed the steps once more, thinking about what a close call that had been.

_**I lay quiet, waiting for her voice to say**_

_**"Some things you lose and some things you just give away"**_

_**Scold me, failed her**_

_**If only I'd held on tighter to her**_

_**Pale white skin that twisted and withered away from, away from me**_

_**Watch me lose her**_

_**It's almost like losing myself**_

_**Give her my soul and let them take somebody else**_

_**Get away from me**_

_**Watch me fault her**_

_**You're living like a disaster**_

_**She said "kill me faster"**_

_**With strawberry gashes all over, all over me.**_


	2. I'm So Sick

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song I'm So Sick, they belong to Rachel Roberts and Flyleaf respectively.**

**You can find this song on YouTube by just searching for "Flyleaf I'm So Sick"**

_**I will break into your thoughts**_

_**With what's written on my heart**_

_**I will break, break**_

_**I'm so sick **_

_**Infected with where I live**_

_**Let me live without this empty bliss, selfishness**_

_**I'm so sick**_

_**I'm so sick**_

"Hey Marlin," Emily said to the screen-portal the dragonflies were weaving. The pale blue face of the Aquatanian Prince looked back at her and smiled.

"Hi Emily. Is there a reason for this unexpected--but welcome--visit?"

"Not really," The healer replied. "I just wanted to say hi, and I was wondering if you wanted me to check up on Niva this weekend. You know, to see if she's doing alright."

Marlin's blue-green eyes seemed to smile. "That'd be great. I think she's doing okay, and she says she's fine, but we could always use a third opinion." The screen blinked as Fiona stopped spinning and spat red sparkles at Fred. "What's going on?" Marlin asked.

"The dragonflies are fighting." Emily answered, then said to the dragonflies, "Guys, could you please stop, just for a few more minutes?"

Barney and Goldie, who were faltering in their weaving because of their quarreling friends, squawked in agreement. Fred and Fiona's jeweled eyes quickly widened and they began to weave again.

"Ugh, Marlin, I think I'm going to have to let these guys go now. I'll talk to you on Friday. That's in two days, 'kay?"

Marlin laughed. "Alright. See you then."

"Bye." Emily turned to the dragonflies once again. "You guys can stop now. Thank you. Do you want a treat?"

The dragonflies abruptly stopped their spinning and happily squeaked. Emily giggled and walked toward the manor, the tiny dragons spinning and flipping joyfully in the air, colorful sparkles trailing behind them.

_**If you want more of this**_

_**We can push out, sell out, die out**_

_**So you'll shut up**_

_**And stay sleeping**_

_**With my screaming in your itching ears**_

Adriane was working on the computer in the library while Emily was in the forest talking to Marlin. Kara sat on the sofa, copying answers from a textbook onto a sheet of paper. Lyra slept at her feet, and Dreamer was chewing on a rawhide in the middle of the carpet.

"Whatcha doin'?" Ozzie jumped onto the desk and peered at the computer screen.

"Work," Adriane said without so much as a glance his way, her fingers never faltering on the keyboard. "Go away."

Kara snorted. "That was nice."

"Don't care."

Ozzie leaped off the desk and scrambled across the floor to Dreamer. The mistwolf stared at the ferret with liquid green eyes, and protectively placed his huge paws over the rawhide. His tail thumped on the ground, daring the ferret to come closer. Ozzie reached a paw out and touched the rawhide, and Dreamer playfully jumped up, growling. The rawhide hung from his mouth. Ozzie grinned.

The noise of the two animals playing was begininng to irritate Adriane. Without thinking, her hand scratched her wrist. She wasn't aware of it until her sharp nails caught a thin layer of skin. She peeked under her sleeve, where a crescent shape had formed.

At tht moment, Emily and the dragonflies came in, the latter happily chewing on pieces of cookie. Goldie zipped toward Kara, lifting a piece of her blonde hair. The blazing star scratched her head, and Goldie cooed.

Adriane saved the updates to the Ravenswood Website and closed the browser. She swiveled in the chair to face her friends. A car horn honked outside, and Emily rushed to the window to see who it was. A forest green Explorer waited in the driveway.

"It's my mom," She announced. "Kara, do you need a ride home?"

"Yeah, my mom won't be home till seven. See you tomorrow, Adriane."

"Bye."

The two other mages grabbed their bookbags and rushed out of the library. She heard them clamber down the stair and a few seconds later, the heavy wooden front door slammed shut. Lyra yawned and stretched. She had been woken up while Ozzie and Dreamer were playing, but hadn't bothered to get up.

The phone next to the computer rang. Adriane picked up the phone after it's second ring, to check the caller ID. It was her mother.

"Hello?"

"Adriane, hi." Willow sounded rushed and stressed. "Dad just gave me your message. Gran's sick again?"

"Yeah."

"Are you staying with anyone?"

"No."

"Oh. We have to get something set up. You can't live on your own."

Adriane rolled her eyes. Does she ever get tired of this speech? She thought to herself.

"I'm going to call Uncle Pierre."

Oh, no. "The one from France? Dad's brother?"

"Of course. What other Uncle Pierres do you have?"

"But... He's in France..."

Willow sighed. "He and Aunt Lily are moving here, because Pierre was promoted. They're going to stay at the cottage with you while we get this thing with you and Janelle sorted out."

"...Janelle?"

"Oh, Honey, I'm sorry. I have to go. Bye, love you!" Adriane heard the phone click and the dial tone sound. The warrior did not like Pierre and Lily. At all. Pierre was loud and drank a lot, and Lily was an appearance-obsessed skeleton. And who was Janelle, anyway?

_**I'm so sick**_

_**Infected with where I live**_

_**Let me live without this empty bliss, selfishness**_

_**I'm so sick**_

_**I'm so sick **_

_**Hear it**_

_**I'm screaming it**_

_**You're heeding to it now**_

_**Hear it**_

_**I'm screaming it**_

_**You tremble at the sound**_

Adriane thought about the last time she had visited with Pierre and Lily. She had only been ten, so it had been four years since she had seen them. Maybe they've changed, she thought optimistically. Then the memory of the visit came crashing down on her, and she felt sick. Luc and Willow had gone out to dinner in Paris and left her in Pierre and Lily's "care". Pierre had had too much to drink that night, as he did many nights, and had stumbled into Adriane who was carrying a glass of water to the sink. The glass had crashed to the floor and water spilled everywhere. Pierre's face turned beet red and he bellowed at her to clean it up. As she picked up the broken shards of glass, Pierre had grabbed her arm harshly and slapped her face. "Quicker next time!" He yelled.

Shit.

_**You sink into my clothes**_

_**This invasion makes me feel worthless, hopeless, sick**_

_**I'm so sick**_

_**Infected with where I live **_

_**Let me live without this empty bliss, selfishness**_

_**I'm so**_

_**I'm so sick**_

_**I'm so sick**_

_**Infected with where I live**_

_**Let me live without this empty bliss, selfishness**_

_**I'm so**_

_**I'm so sick**_

_**I'm so**_

_**I'm so sick.**_


	3. Nemo

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series, or the song Nemo. They belong to Rachel Roberts and Nightwish respectively.**

**You can find this song on YouTube by just typing in "Nightwish Nemo" in the search box.**

_**This is me for forever**_

_**One of the lost ones**_

_**The one without a name **_

_**Without an honest heart as compass**_

_**This is me for forever**_

_**One without a name**_

_**These lines the last endeavor**_

_**To find the missing lifeline**_

Pierre and Lily arrived a week later.

Pierre banged loudly and obnoxiously on the wooden door. Adriane looked up from her homework and rolled her eyes. Sighing, she got up and opened the door to be unpleasantly greeted by Lily's scowling face and Pierre's fat, red one.

"I hate this place already," Lily commented.

Adriane ignored her. "Do you want something to eat or drink?" She asked. It took all of her self-control to be polite and not lash out at them.

Pierre laughed. "I thought you'd never ask!"

The warrior dug her fingernails into her palm. "What do you want, Uncle Pierre?"

"Well, what do you have?" He countered.

Adriane rattled off a few things, before Pierre got bored and went into the kitchen to see or himself. Lily motioned towards the bags. "Where will we be staying?" She asked, her accent thick and hard to understand and Adriane had to ask her to repeat herself.

"Uh... I think you're staying in..." The raven-haired teen thought rapidly. The idea of these two insulting excuses for caretakers staying in Gran's room repulsed her, and all of her stuff was already in her own room, it wouldn't make sense for her to move into Gran's room. Out of ideas, Adriane sighed ever so slightly. "In Gran's room. I'll help you unpack."

_**Oh how I wish for soothing rain**_

_**All I wish is to dream again**_

_**My loving heart, lost in the dark**_

_**For hope I'd give my everything**_

Adriane crept as silently as she could down the dark hallway. Just one, she promised herself as she opened the bathroom door and flipped on the lights. Pierre and Lily had ordered that Dreamer be kept outside, and Adriane was worried, even though Lyra had said she'd watch him. Pierre and Lily were both asleep, the warrior was sure of that.

She reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out her razor. Carefully, she extracted the blade from the plastic with a small metal nailpick. With the razorblade in her right hand, she pushed up the sleeve of her left arm and pressed the thin, cool metal to her skin. An instant wave of relief washed over her and pulled her out to a sea she could so easily drown in.

One cut turned into two. And two to three. Adriane sat on the floor, her legs folded under her. _Drip. Drip._ Blood pooled onto the tile. She began to get dizzy, and she stood up quickly, which only caused her consciousness to fade in and out. Somehow, she managed to grab a handful of tissues and sop up the gathering blood from her arm. Suddenly she was glad she had not made the cuts very deep, because it was so difficult to halt the bleeding. When they finally did, Adriane turned her attention to the blood. The smell filled the room, a scent Adriane was familiar with.

Using wet tissues, she cleaned the mess up on the floor, on the vanity and in the sink.

A noise, like a grunt, sounded in the hallway.

Adriane froze. Oh, crap. What if Pierre or Lily caught her? They'd surely tell her parents, and then what would they think? That they're daughter's a fuck-up? Oh, wait, they already thought that. Scratch that.

The footsteps passed the bathroom, thankfully. They made their way downstairs and into the kitchen, and the warrior bet it was Pierre. She shut off the lights, and opened the door. It creaked a little, and Adriane dashed out of the bathroom and into her room.

_**My flower withered between the pages 2 and 3**_

_**The once and forever bloom gone with my sins**_

_**Walk the dark path**_

_**Sleep with angels **_

_**Call the past for help**_

_**Touch me with your love**_

_**And reveal to me my true name**_

_**Oh how I wish for soothing rain **_

_**All I wish is to dream again**_

_**My loving heart, lost in the dark**_

_**For hope I'd give my everything**_

In the morning, Adriane woke up earlier than her aunt and uncle. She showered and dressed as quickly as she could, her hair still wet when she ran out of the door twenty minutes later. She waited at the front gate for a good five minutes, shivering in the bitter autumn cold before the bus came. Emily and Kara boarded the bus a few minutes later, and the girls busied themselves with plans to go to the council to get the money for the animal feed until Heather came on and she and Kara got involved with talking about setting up a trip to the mall.

Emily and Kara knew about Gran being sick and about Lily and Pierre coming, but not about her cutting. Adriane would rather die than have them find out. The last thing she needed was pity. Adriane was a warrior, she was supposed to be strong. She wasn't supposed to spend time--nearly every night now--leaning over a sink, watching her blood swirl down the drain.

Shame washed over her, and she traced her fingers over the new scars, hidden under her sleeve. She pressed on one, to feel the pain. She wasn't disappointed. The bus stopped at Stonehill High, and the kids stood up before it had even finished moving.

Adriane stood with them, ready to face another day.

_**Oh how I wish for soothing rain**_

_**Oh how I wish to dream again**_

_**Once and for all**_

_**And all for once**_

_**Nemo, my name forevermore**_

"Hey," Lori Eller (1) called.

"Hi," Adriane replied to her friend. It was sixth period, and Adriane was exhausted already. She pinched her left arm to wake herself up as Lori came over. She brushed her blue and green hair out of her eyes and began to chatter about her latest crush. Adriane allowed her mind to wander, because she knew Lori wouldn't notice.

The bell rang, and Lori walked back over to her seat as the teacher called for the students' attention.

When would the day be over?

_**Nemo, sailing home**_

_**Nemo, letting go**_

_**Oh how I wish for soothing rain**_

_**All I wish is to dream again**_

_**My loving heart, lost in the dark**_

_**For hope I'd give my everything**_

_Kara walked down the marble hallways of her castle. Her long, perfectly manicured nails trailed over the walls. She turned to face a mirror that had been placed in the hallway. She gasped. Her ice blue eyes were cold and harsh, and her skin was very pale. Long blonde hair cascaded down her back, She heard a growl behind her. She swirled around to find Lyra, spotted fur once again burned by Black Fire, badly injured, her right eye swollen shut. _

_"Kara..." She mewed. "Look what you did..."_

_**Oh how I wish for soothing rain**_

_**Oh how I wish to dream again**_

_**Once and for all**_

_**And all for once**_

_**Nemo, my name forevermore**_

_**Forevermore...**_

(1) - Remember her? From _All That Glitters_?


	4. Cloud Nine

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song Cloud Nine, the belong to Rachel Roberts and Evanescence respectively.**

_**If you want to live, let live**_

_**If you want to go, let go**_

_**Not afraid to dream-- to sleep, sleep forever**_

_**I don't need to touch the sky**_

_**I just want to feel that high**_

_**And you refuse to lift me**_

Emily and Marlin walked alongside the beach together. Aquatania really is beautiful, she thought to herself, watching the sun set just beyond the ocean.

"Niva's just over here," Marlin said, pointing in the direction of the sea dragon. Niva's bluish-green head broke the surface, her eyes glittering.

_"Emily,"_ She greeted.

"Hi. How are you feeling?"

"_Much better. It was only a cold, and it's passed already. I don't need you two fawning over me like I'm an infant."_ Niva's words were a little bitter, but her tone was light and playful.

"Well... I guess she's alright..." Marlin looked down. Emily resisted the urge to giggle, and began to walk the length of the shore again. Marlin quickly caught up. When neither of the teens were looking at her, she gave them a knowing look and sank underneath the surface once again.

_**Guess it wasn't real after all**_

_**Guess it wasn't real all along**_

_**If I fall and all is lost, it's where I belong**_

Emily sat down, looking at the stars and Aldenmor's twin moons that had taken the place of the sun temporarily.

"It's gorgeous," She said as Marlin joined her, her eyes never leaving the heavens.

"Yeah..." Marlin agreed. Emily turned soft hazel eyes on him and smiled. He smiled back shyly. Suddenly, he leaned in and kissed her. Emily was surprised, but then she kissed him back.

After a few seconds, Marlin pulled away, confusion in his eyes. "I-I'm sorry..."

"No, Marlin, don't be," Emily pleaded.

"No, it's not that, it's just..."

"Just what?"

"My father, he wants me to start dating... To find a wife. And you live in Earth, and I live on Aldenmor, and you're only fourteen and that's too young of an age to get married on your world."

"Whoa, wait. _Marriage_? Marlin, he can't _force_ you to get married... Can he?"

"He can."

_**If you want to live, let live**_

_**If you want to go, let go**_

_**Never gonna be your sweet, sweet surrender**_

_**Guess it wasn't real after all**_

_**Guess it wasn't real all along**_

Adriane counted again. The answer was the same. Fifteen. Fifteen cuts on her arm. Fifteen cuts on her arm that _she had made._ And it had only been two weeks since she had started. Pierre and Lily were beginning to get unbearable, and the hospital hadn't sent any news about Gran. Well, no news that she ever got to hear, anyway. Maybe her parents knew something, or Pierre and Lily did and they just weren't telling her.

So far, Adriane was able to escape to her room before Pierre got too drunk on cheap beer and whiskey to realize that she was still there. Lily was usually out-- somewhere-- and didn't get home till seven-thirty, nine o'clock at the latest. Adriane thought she was out shopping or with Beasley Windor. The two had become good friends. How fitting.

Adriane was trying to get through the task at hand-- finishing her homework-- when a name entered her mind.

Janelle.

Who was she? Why had Willow mentioned her name, but didn't care to explain who she was before hanging up?

Adriane looked down at her math paper, and realized that she still had ten problems left. Finding out who Janelle was would have to wait.

_**If I fall and all is lost**_

_**No light to lead the way**_

_**Remember that all alone is where I belong**_

"Adriane!"

The warrior heard Pierre call her name from downstairs. His speech was slurred already, and it was only six forty-five. Maybe if I just stay in here, he'll forget about me, Adriane hoped. She went over to her door and locked it, listening for sounds of Pierre climbing the steps. Instead, she heard him crashing around downstairs. She breathed a sigh of relief, but wished she had something sharp in her room. She wondered if she had any scissors, but she wracked her brain and went through a few drawers and came up with nothing. Her razor was down the hall in the bathroom, of course, and she didn't want to come out and risk running into Pierre.

Adriane heard Lily open and slam the front door.

"Pierre? Pierre, dear, I need to talk to you."

"What is it..?"

"I'm inviting a few friends over for a dinner party tomorrow. I need you to be in nice clothes and on your best behavior by seven-thirty. And no alcohol! Now, do you know where your niece is?"

"I dunno. She didn't answer when I called 'er."

Lily came up the steps and knocked on Adriane's door. The warrior unlocked it and faced her aunt.

"You heard what I said downstairs, right?"

Adriane nodded.

"I need you to do the same. Let me see your closet. I don't even know if you own any nice clothes. You only ever wear black."

Adriane rolled her eyes ever so slightly and led Lily to the wooden-doored closet. Lily sifted through the band T-shirts and the long-sleeved shirts, all in dark colors. The skeleton bit her lower lip in exasperation, until she found a sheer black and silver blouse.

"Here!" She exclaimed, pulling out the blouse. She went though the long-sleeves again until she found a black and white one, and a pair of nice black slacks. She handed the combination to Adriane. "This is what you'll wear," Lily said firmly when her niece crinkled her nose.

_**In a dream**_

_**Will you give your love to me?**_

_**Beg my broken heart to beat**_

_**Save my life**_

_**Change my mind**_

Adriane watched with emotionless eyes as Lily's guests entered the cottage. This house that had for so long been her home no longer held any comfort. Lily and Pierre has destroyed it, and now they treated it like it was their house, and Adriane was the intruder. Her comfort now wasn't curling up on the couch with a mug of tea and watching TV, but a razorblade gripped in her hand, her arm bleeding over the sink. She had made two cuts a half an hour ago to get her through this dinner.

"Smile," Lily muttered to the dark-haired girl, and she forced a cheesy smile on her face. Then Beasley Windor walked through the door and her smile disappeared. Mrs. Windor noticed this and she scowled, but when she saw Lily she brightened.

Oh, God, Adriane thought. This is going to be a long night.

_**If I fall and all is lost**_

_**No light to lead the way**_

_**Remember that all alone is where I belong**_

**This wasn't the most interesting chapter ever, but constructive criticism is appreciated!**

**--Krista**


	5. The Howling

**You can find this song on YouTube by just typing in Within Temptation The Howling.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series, or the song The Howling. They belong to Rachel Roberts and Within Temptation respectively.**

_**We've been seeing what you wanted**_

_**Got us cornered right now**_

_**Fallen asleep from our vanity might cost us our lives**_

_**I hear they're getting closer**_

_**Their howls are sending chills down my spine**_

_**And time is running out now**_

_**They're coming down the hills from behind**_

The dinner party went smoothly for all Adriane knew or cared, because after about a half an hour of fake smiling and greeting people she either didn't know or didn't like, the warrior retreated into her room. She opened the top of a CD player and went to select a CD from the many that adorned her bookshelf. The dark, symphonic metal sounds of Within Temptation filled the room.

_**When we start killing**_

_**It's all coming down right now**_

_**From the nightmare we've created**_

_**I wanna be awakened somehow**_

_**When we start killing**_

_**It all will be falling down**_

_**From the hell that we're in**_

_**All we are is fading away**_

_**When we start killing**_

Adriane turned the stereo down a few decibels and flipped her silver laptop open. The screen turned gray, then blue and Adriane clicked on her account. A picture of Dreamer playing with Zach was her background, and she wished that Lily had not made him stay outside. Dreamer, that is. The warrior's thoughts drifted to the sandy-haired boy in the picture. Zach.

Zach was confusing. One moment he acted like he liked her, and the next he firmly stood on the "just friends" line. At least with Joey, Adriane knew that he liked her, she just wasn't sure that she liked him. Maybe that's how Zach was feeling.

The girl shook her dark hair out of her face and began typing her essay. By the time she finished, the party had finished as well.

_**We've been searching all night long but there's no trace to be found**_

_**It's like they all have just vanished but I know they're around**_

_**I feel they're getting closer**_

_**Their howls are sending chills down my spine**_

_**And time is running out now**_

_**They're coming diwn the hills from behind**_

"You stayed out of sight. Good." Lily said when Adriane had come downstairs later that evening.

Adriane just nodded. Pierre had already gone to bed, deprived of his nightly drink.

The phone rang suddenly, making both Lily and Adriane jump. Lily picked up the handset, and her eyes lit up, a fake smile forming on her face. As if the person on the other line could see her.

"Willow!" She exclaimed. Then, with her hand over the mouthpiece, she whispered offhand to Adriane, "It's your mother."

Of course it is. Who else had the name Willow? Adriane thought sarcastically and rolled her eyes.

Lily didn't notice. She was too busy talking and telling Willow how great everything was and what a pleasure it was to be staying here. The woman was lying through her teeth! She complained everyday about this or that or the other thing. After several choruses of "uh-huh"s, Lily handed Adriane the phone and walked into the living room.

"Mom?"

"Adriane, hi! How are you?"

For some reason, that question seemed really funny. Adriane briefly thought about telling her mother about what was _really_ going on, but decided that a simple "Okay, I guess," answer would do just fine.

"That's great, Honey." Suddenly Adriane remembered Janelle.

"Mom, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure Sweetie. Shoot."

"Who's Janelle?"

Silence. The phone crackled a bit, and Adriane half-expected her to hang up.

"We adopted her. She's you sister, now."

_**When we start killing**_

_**It's all coming down right now**_

_**From the nightmare we've created**_

_**I wanna be awakened somehow**_

_**When we start killing**_

_**It all will be falling down**_

_**From the hell that we're in**_

_**All we are is fading away**_

_**When we start killing**_

Adriane felt like the world was crashing down upon her. She needed a razor, and she needed it now.

"How long has she been living with you?"

"Seven months," Willow answered, pride evident in her voice. "She's such a darling. She's eight years old, and she loves cats so much. We're planning on getting her a kitten for Christmas. I bought her this cute, frilly yellow dress and absolutely adores the thing. She wants to wear it everyday and pretend she's a princess. She so sweet, too. She makes sure to tell us every morning when she gets up and every evening before she goes to bed that she loves us and she's glad we picked her. She's perfect."

Adriane knew that if she didn't cut in soon Willow would continue to ramble on. Now she really needed her razorblade. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Another pause. Then, "I don't know."

"You don't know? How could you not know the reason for keeping your new kid a secret from me?!"

"Calm down, Adriane. It's not the end of the world. Ugh, I knew you would react this way." Willow sighed dramatically.

"I can't believe you!" Adriane cried into the phone before hanging up.

_**I feel they're getting closer**_

_**Their howls are sending chills down my spine**_

_**And time is running out now**_

_**They're coming down the hills from behind**_

Adriane knew why they had adopted Janelle. Because their first daughter had turned out to be a fucked-up cutter freak, and Janelle was their dream daughter. Of course, they didn't know about the cutting part, but they knew she was a fucked-up freak, they could tell when she was nine or ten, when she started to get calls home that she was being anti-social and how she would stay locked up in her room for most of the day. But could they blame her? They kept moving from place to place, and she was lonely.

Adriane thought about all this as she made yet another cut on her arm.

_**The sun is rising**_

_**Screams have gone**_

_**Too many have fallen**_

_**Few still stand tall**_

_**Is this the ending of what we've begun?**_

_**Will we remember what we've done wrong?**_

Kara held the unicorn gem up to her face. In the thick darkness, the silver horn gave off white and pink sparkles, the red that represented Starfire spiraling from the base to the very tip.

She was special. She'd always known that.

Who else had was a blazing star, destined to save Avalon from destruction from evil? Who else controlled this otherwise uncontrollable power?

She had ridden a unicorn, which was forbidden. And nothing she loved had died.

She made a firemental horse her paladin, rescued the Fairy Realms, and saved Lyra from melting when she'd-- _accidentally--_ been turned to quicksilver. Phel had chosen to give _her_ a fairy map, out of all three of the girls.

Just imagine what she could accomplish with more power...

_**When we start killing**_

_**It's all coming down right now**_

_**From the nightmare we've created**_

_**I want to be awakened somehow**_

_**When we start killing**_

_**It all will be falling down**_

_**From the hell that we're in**_

_**All we are is fading away**_

_**When we start killing...**_

_**When we start killing...**_

_**When we start killing...**_

**That was a lot shorter than my other chapters, but it got the plot moving forward. So, I hope you've enjoyed the story so far, please review!**

**--Krista**


	6. Quietus

**I don't own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song Quietus. They belong to Rachel Roberts and Epica respectively.**

**You can find this song by typing "Epica Quietus" into the searchbox.**

_**The culprit, you act before thinking**_

_**Caught in your ignorant sin**_

_**And lying to your own reflection**_

_**You thought you could hide**_

Marlin paced anxiously around his bedroom. His sea-green, jewel-encrusted robes swayed as he walked. His father had ordered him to change into something "More royal, more princely, something that would catch someone's eye," as he put it. The young Aquatanian prince didn't know why he had to dress up, but he would not question his father.

There was a knock on his door. When Marlin opened it, a calm, gentle maid, probably in her fifties or sixties, stood there and told him that the King wanted him in the front room in ten minutes.

Marlin hurried down the long marble corridors, but slowed down when he neared the front room. He could hear his father and another man talking, and, regaining his composure, entered the room in a very dignified manner.

His eyes widened as large as saucers when he saw a pretty teenage girl standing beside the man his father had been speaking to.

She had medium-length blonde hair and green eyes. She reminded him of Kara, but this girl's hair was a paler shade of blonde and her skin was icy pale.

"Marlin, I'd like you to meet Talina. Her father is the King of the Ice Islands."

That explains why she looks so pale, the prince thought to himself. "Hello, Talina." He bowed respectfully and walked over to stand next to his father. He could tell the king was proud of him.

"You and Talina are going to get to know each other," King Spartos said with a smile.

Marlin was fearful of that. He had known something was off when he'd entered the room. Before he knew it, he and Talina were being shooed into a the sea-green and white royal carriage. The snow elemental horses trotted off into town, and Marlin tried to make conversation.

"So... Talina...Do you have any interests?"

Talina smiled. "I like to draw, and I like fashion, too." Now she _really_ sounded like Kara. Marlin couldn't help but wish that Emily was here with him. When the carriage brought them to the Aquatanian center of activity, the marketplace, Marlin got out first and helped Talina out like a gentleman. Her snow-white and silver dress and Marlin's robes definitely directed a lot of attention to them, and the people in the marketplace instantly recognized them. Well, they recognized Marlin, anyway. A crowd began to gather around them, and Marlin was glad when the owner of the palace-restaurant came out to greet them and take them to the backyard of the place.

_**Deprived of my own innocence, denied**_

_**The infinity of recurring torment, your comeuppance**_

Another daughter. Adriane couldn't get that thought out of her head. She imagined that Janelle would be the sweetest little girl ever, would have this great relationship with her parents through out her teenage years, certainly wouldn't cut herself, would get accepted to Harvard, or Yale, or Princeton, and Adriane would fade away to nothing in her parents' lives.

She knew she was being dramatic and wallowing in self-pity. But at the moment, she just didn't care. What right did Janelle have to take her place?!

_**See, hear, the torture inside**_

_**Devouring what was left of my pride**_

_**You thought it's not going to happen to you**_

_**Thought you could hide **_

Emily sat in a booth at the local diner with Kara, waiting for Adriane to show up so they could discuss what was going to happen over the winter, and the annual kick-off event for the Spring tours.

"Where is she?" Kara asked impatiently.

"I have no idea," Emily replied. "Maybe she forgot?"

"Ugh." Her eyes flashed in anger and annoyance. "I say we just go over to Ravenswood tomorrow. I have to meet Heather, Molly, and Tiff at the mall in half an hour. See you later," With that, the blazing star handed Emily some money for the food and left the diner just as her father pulled up in his Lexus.

Emily paid the bill and then she, too, left. She walked down the sidewalk, her heavy, powder-blue jacket blocking out most of the cold wind. Why hadn't Adriane come to the meeting? She didn't think the warrior'd forget, but she'd have to ask her tomorrow. Soon, the healer's thoughts drifted to Marlin, and she smiled.

_**Deprived of my own innocence, denied**_

_**The infinity of recurring torment, your comeuppance**_

_**Dwelling in a mind, mixed up and your regret has spread over the sea**_

Adriane could hear Pierre breaking things and cursing loudly, calling her name in drunken confusion downstairs. She was supposed to meet Emily and Kara in town, but she didn't want to try and get past Pierre. Lily was out, as usual, probably shopping with Mrs. Windor another one of her friends. Sometimes she wondered why Lily put up with him.

Something tumbled to the ground downstairs with a _crash!_ Adriane's whole body tightened as she heard Pierre stumble up the steps, cursing and tripping.

Then, with another crash, she heard grunts as the man fell down the steps. She heard the door downstairs open, and Lily gasped.

_**Deprived of my own innocence, denied**_

_**The infinity of recurring torment **_

_**Dwelling in a mind, mixed up and your regret has spread over the sea**_

**I'm am so, so sorry this wasn't up yesterday! It's been written for over a week, but I didn't have the time to put it up yesterday!**

**--Krista**


	7. Senses Capture

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song Senses Capture, they belong to Rachel Roberts and Leaves' Eyes respectively.**

**You can find this song on YouTube by just searching for Senses Capture Leaves' Eyes. There's a video of Final Fantasy with this song to go with it. **

_**Shadows in my room**_

_**Staring at me**_

_**Half-open eyes**_

_**Daring to see**_

_**My mouth is sealed**_

_**Not able to speak**_

_**This ray of moonlight**_

_**Glancing through me**_

_**Do I believe in wonders, do I believe in dreams?**_

_**Have I been touched by spirits finding me when I'm asleep?**_

_**The melody of mermaids keeps me awake at night**_

_**The eyes of starlit heavens following me secretly**_

Kara's blue eyes darted around her room, taking in the quiet beauty of the night. Silver moonlight struck her unicorn jewel, which lay on a small table beside the blazing star's bed. Rainbows danced on the facets of the glittering jewel, breath-taking in its beauty. Kara knew this jewel was hers forever. For so long, she hadn't had a jewel. She remembered the jealousy that had coursed through her when Emily and Adriane continuously showed off their gems. Her eyes flashed.

_"You don't need them..."_

Kara sat up quickly. The voice was so soft, it could have been the wind sighing outside.

"Who said that?" She demanded, trying to keep the tremble from her voice.

_"That isn't important..."_

"Show yourself!" Kara hissed, as not to wake her family.

_"Think of what that jewel could do," _The voice urged. An image of the Spider Witch flashed in her head. _"Think of what Lucinda _couldn't_ do."_

"Lucinda protects good magic. You're evil!"

_"How is getting what I want evil...?"_ The voice laughed. The sound resounded in Kara's head, then vanished.

"Witch!" Kara called quietly.

No answer came.

_**Senses capture**_

_**My senses capture me**_

_**The melody of mermaids keeps me awake at night**_

_**The eyes of starlit heavens following me secretly**_

_**Shadows on the wall**_

_**Moving towards me**_

_**Wide open windows**_

_**Poisoned by the wind**_

_**My palms are wet**_

_**Not able to move**_

_**The sound of voices**_

_**Humming in my ear**_

Kara walked through the halls of Stonehill High, contemplating what had happened in the early hours of the morning. She turned into her classroom and took her seat near the window. Her golden sheet of hair blocked her troubled face from view, and her friends were noticing.

"Kara?" Molly asked, her voice concerned. Kara was jerked from her thoughts. Her ead snapped up, and she stared expectantly at curly-haired blonde.

"What's wrong?"

"Yeah," Tiffany chirped. "You've been acting weird all day."

"Just tired, that's all," Kara forced a smile. "I didn't sleep much."

"We totally need to hang out this weekend," Heather commented.

"Definitely." Tiffany and Molly both agreed.

Kara tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Yeah."

"How 'bout we meet at the mall on Saturday, around eleven?" Molly suggested.

"Sure," The girls chorused.

_**Do I believe in wonders, do I believe in dreams?**_

_**Have I been touched by spirits finding me when I'm asleep?**_

_**The melody of mermaids keeps me awake at night**_

_**The eyes of starlit heavens following me secretly**_

_**Senses capture**_

_**My senses capture me**_

_**The melody of mermaids keeps me awake at night**_

_**The eyes of starlit heavens following me secretly**_

Saturday came around in no time. For the past couple of days, Kara's thoughts had been plagued by the Spider Witch and the Dark Sorceress. Kara woke up around nine-thirty and jumped in the shower. By the time she had blow-dried her hair and changed, it was ten-fifteen.

"Mom!" She called down the stairs.

"Yes?"

"Can you give me a ride to the mall in a half an hour?"

"Uh-huh."

Satisfied, Kara went back into the bathroom to put on her makeup. She put a thin layer of eyeliner on her lower eyelash line. No sense looking like Adriane, she thought, remembering when she'd introduced the girl to the joy that was eyeliner. Before, the warrior wouldn't touch makeup. Then she discovered that eyeliner could actually make her "look" darker.

After applying sparkling blue eyeshadow and pale pink blush, Kara ran downstairs and jumped in her mother's car.

Kara held up an ugly green sweater. Her friends laughed, and Tiffany grabbed a red blouse. "How's this for my Christmas party?"

"I like it," Molly remarked.

"What are you going to wear for pants, though? Black and jeans are really the only things that go well with red, and that's not very festive."

Tiffany bit her lip. "You're right," She agreed.

"How about a gold top and a white skirt?" Kara suggested.

"Yeah," Heather agreed. "Let's go find something like that."

_**My senses capture me**_

_**My eyes fail to see **_

_**I smell the winter come and go**_

_**I hear the migrants leave**_

_**Emotions capture me**_

_**My mind starts to feel**_

_**My lips move without a sense**_

**_I feel the words are on your way_**

_**Do I believe in wonders, do I believe in dreams?**_

_**Have I been touched by spirits finding me wen I'm asleep?**_

_**The melody of mermaids keeps me awake at night**_

_**The eyes of starlit heavens following me secretly**_

_**Senses capture**_

_**My senses capture me**_

_**The melody of mermaids keeps me awake at night**_

_**The eyes of starlit heavens following me secretly**_

_**Senses capture**_

_**My senses capture me**_

_**The melody of mermaids keeps me awake at night**_

_**The eyes of starlit heavens following me secretly...**_

**I'm SO sorry this chapter was so short and late... I couldn't think of anything else to with this chapter, and I didn't want to just have Adriane cutting herself again, because she's done that in every chapter so far. I'm afraid that the next chapter might be like this, but I have something BIG planned for Chapter 10, so just hold out, okay? Plus, I have midterms, so time is kind of tight... Well, at least I got it up, right? **

**As always, reviews are appreciated!**

**--Krista**


	8. Our Truth

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song Our Truth, they belong to Rachel Roberts and Lacuna Coil respectively.**

**You can find this song on YouTube by typing in "Lacuna Coil Our Truth" in the search box.**

_**Clock is ticking while I'm killing time**_

_**Spinning all around**_

_**Nothing else that you can do to turn it back**_

_**Wicked partnership in this crime**_

_**Ripping up the best**_

_**Condescending smile**_

Lily held a pink-tinted tissue she had pulled out of her huge, designer leather purse to her nose, sobbing gently. Adriane rolled her eyes. That woman was just an attention whore. The receptionist glanced over to the warrior's aunt, giving her a sympathetic look.

Pierre had passed out when he was climbing up the stairs, hence why he fell. Lily panicked and called an ambulance, and then this morning, they'd come back to the hospital. The dark-haired girl stared at the moving glass doors that led outside. She glanced at Lily, who was still sobbing, and left her seat. The automatic doors opened for her, and she felt a blast of cold air.

She sat down on the wooden garden box and scratched her wrist out of frustration, wishing her nails were longer. A familiar black Lexus pulled up and parked a few yards away. Lauren Davies, the mayor's wife and Kara's mother, opened the door, and then the blazing star herself got out of the passenger seat. Adriane turned her head so her long black hair fell over her face. She did not want to explain to Kara why she'd missed that meeting yesterday.

"Adriane? Is that you?"

Damn it.

_**Trying to forget (Wasting my time)**_

_**We're falling right through**_

_**Lying to forget (Telling more lies)**_

_**We're raising our truth**_

The warrior put on a fake half-smile and walked over to Kara and her mother.

"Hi, Adriane," Lauren greeted politely. They'd only met a few times.

"Hi,"

"Why are you here?" Kara asked.

"Pierre had an... accident. He fell down the stairs." She struggled not to smirk.

"Oh," Lauren said. "I'm sorry."

"He'll be alright," Adriane smiled. Secretly, she wished he wouldn't.

"Is that why you didn't meet us yesterday?"

"Uh-huh."

"Kara, c'mon," Lauren called to her daughter. "I have pick up my medication."

"See ya."

"Bye."

_**Clock is ticking while I'm stealing time**_

_**Can't you turn it back?**_

_**Stop the cycle, set it free, and run away**_

_**Silence sneaking along my path**_

_**Grab the rope off me**_

_**Feeling like we'll fly (Feeling like we'll fly)**_

"Emily, I have something to tell you." Marlin looked unhappy. The healer was immediately concerned.

"What is it?" She asked.

"My father is having me take girls from other kingdoms out, to things like dinner and social events... He wants me to find someone to marry."

Emily bit her lip. "Marlin..."

"I'm not going to choose any of them," The prince cut her off. "Emily... I want _you_."

Emily smiled as he continued.

"I just wanted to let you know, so you don't like, get mad at me or anything."

The redhead laughed. "I promise."

_**Trying to forget (Wasting my time)**_

_**We're falling right through**_

_**Lying to forget (Telling more lies)**_

_**We're raising our truth**_

_**Trying to forget (Wasting my time)**_

_**We're falling right through**_

_**Lying to forget (Telling more lies)**_

_**We're raising our truth**_

**I apologize a thousand times over for the shortness and the cheesiness of this chapter. It was mostly just a filler chapter. I cannot write romance to save my life. Flame this chapter as you see fit.**

**--Krista**


	9. Red Sam

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song "Red Sam", they belong to Rachel Roberts and Flyleaf respectively.**

**To find this song on YouTube, search for "Flyleaf Red Sam Acoustic".**

_**Here I stand**_

_**Empty hands**_

_**Wishing my wrists were bleeding**_

_**To stop the pain from the beatings **_

_**And there you stood**_

_**Holding me**_

_**Waiting for me to notice you**_

Pierre was back at home after only a day at the hospital, but Lily had forbade him from any alcohol.

Thank goodness. At least Pierre does whatever Lily tells him to. That's probably why they're still together, Adriane thought.

The warrior heard Lily gabbing away with her mother--no, _Willow_--and waited patiently for her aunt to hand her the phone. As if on cue, Lily turned around and said "Yes, alright. Yes, she's here."

Adriane took the gray and black wireless handset and heard Willow's voice on the other line. "Look, last week, I know you're upset and everything, but you have to understand. You wanted to stay at Ravenswood, and your father and I wanted to raise a child."

"But why keep her a secret from me?"

"I don't know, Adriane! It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. We wanted a sweet little girl who we loved and--" Willow stopped herself. "I didn't mean that," she said quickly.

"Of course you didn't," The warrior replied, her words dripping with hurt. "Have a nice life, Willow. Bye." With that, she clicked the silver "talk" button on the handset and handed it to Lily before rushing to the upstairs bathroom.

**_But who are you?_**

**_You are the truth_**

**_Outscreaming these lies_**

**_You are the truth_**

**_Saving my life_**

****

**_The warmth of your embrace_**

**_Melts my frostbitten spirit_**

**_You speak the truth and I hear it_**

**_The words are "I love you"_**

**_And I have to believe in you_**

Adriane watched the blood swirl down the drain. She had locked the door, so she knew no one would come in. By now, she had learned how to not make such a huge mess of the bathroom when she did this. She started to feel light-headed, and she knew that that meant she had to bandage her arm. Stumbling slightly, she made her way over to the medicine cabinet and pulled out an Ace bandage. Slowly, she wrapped it around her arm-- five new cuts-- and sank to the floor, her back against the wall. A few tears made their way down her cheek, then a few more, and finally, her face was wet and salty.

After what seemed like hours, the warrior pulled herself up and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked sick. She _was_ sick. Disgusted with herself, she turned away and headed towards her room. She had school in the morning.

**_But who are you?_**

**_You are the truth_**

**_Outscreaming these lies_**

**_You are the truth_**

**_Saving my life_**

****

**_My hands are open _**

**_And you are filling them_**

**_Hands in the air_**

**_In the air, in the air, in the air_**

"Kara."

The blazing star woke from a deep sleep instantly, only to find herself, not in her bed, but in a foggy, ethereal... _nothingness_. She looked at the person who had called her name.

"Lucinda?" She asked increduously.

The fairy queen nodded. "Kara, you must beware of the sorceress. She is using dreams to corrupt you. Here," Lucinda reached behind her long, beautiful silver-blonde hair unclasped a necklace. It was simple, a small, pearly, opaque image of a fairy on a silver chain. "It will protect you," She told Kara as the blonde teenager put it on.

"But Kara, watch out for your friends. They are your anchor. And one may be teetering over the edge."

The fog vanished, and Kara woke again, in her bedroom this time. She looked down. A delicate necklace adorned her throat. So the dream was real. Kara knew what the sorceress had been trying to do, and she was thankful for the protection Lucinda offered. But what had the fairy meant when she said that one of her friends could be teetering over the edge?

**_And I worship_**

**_I worship_**

**_I worship_**

**_I worship_**

****

**_You are the truth_**

**_Outscreaming these lies_**


	10. Prayers

**WARNING: MAY BE TRIGGERING**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song "Prayers". They belong to Rachel Roberts and In This Moment respectively.**

**You can find this song on YouTube by searching for "Prayers In This Moment". I've also realized that for some people, YouTube may not work on their computers, so if this is you, you can use the site projectplaylist .com. It works for most computers.

* * *

**

_**Breathing in and breathing out**_

_**My head leaned back my hands are tied**_

_**I stand in here, alone I scream, questions why**_

_**Days slip by and nights I taste**_

_**These memories run through my veins**_

_**Injecting me with one last kiss, screaming why**_

Adriane sleepily rolled over on her bed and glanced at her clock. Her dark eyes widened in alarm when the glowing red numbers glared the time 6:50. She had twenty minutes to get to the bus stop. As fast as she could, Adriane threw on a simple black long-sleeved shirt and jeans. As she pulled the jeans on, she noticed the three cuts on her leg. She'd made them last night, when she couldn't sleep, thinking about Willow and Luc and Janelle. Hence, the reason she'd woken up so late. By 7:08, the warrior reached the wrought-iron gate in front of Ravenswood and opened it just enough for her to slip through, slamming it closed when she was on the other side.

_**This medication can't save me**_

_**And desperation takes hold of me**_

_**I wanted to believe in all of this**_

_**I wanted to believe in you**_

Adriane laid her head down on her arm during Global, being careful of the still-sore scars. Four more periods, she thought to herself, watching the clock on the wall on the other side of the room intently.

"...Decline of the Roman civilization?"

The black-haired girl raised her head when she realized the teacher was asking her a question. "Uh-- Invasions?" She offered in a tiny voice that didn't sound like her at all. She could almost feel Emily's hazel eyes burning into her, trying to figure out what was going on.

The teacher nodded. "Germanic invasions," he added and finished his lesson with five minutes to spare. "Alright, everyone, hand in your homework from last night. You can talk."

"You didn't do it?" Emily asked from beside her when she didn't see her fellow mage hand the paper to the kid in front of her.

"No. I didn't have the time."

"What's wrong?"

Adriane resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "_Nothing_. I just didn't sleep much last night." _I had to listen to Lily and Pierre scream at each other until midnight about Pierre's never-ending drinking, and on top of that, couldn't get the thought of my parents' replacement kid out of my head._

Adriane knew the healer didn't buy her story, but was thankful her friend didn't press the issue.

_**All I am, all I have**_

_**Leads me down these roads again**_

_**Take my hand, show me the way**_

_**And never bring me back here**_

After fifth period, Adriane couldn't take it anymore. She asked to be excused from class to go to the bathroom. As she rounded the corner, she was glad she'd stuffed a razor in her bag, in case of emergency, although she'd never cut in school before. Her black messenger bag landed heavily on the tile floor, and the warrior pushed up her sleeve. After a quick, nervous glance at the door, she stared at her left forearm with a mixture of fascination and disgust.

Sore, red, recent cuts marred her arm in no particular pattern, Underneath them, pale pink scars, although hardly unnoticeable or fading, lie as older reminders. She had been cutting, or _self-mutilating_, as some "experts" on the internet called it, for about six weeks now.

Well, not just cutting. One time last week, she had rubbed sandpaper on her leg. It didn't make her bleed as much as cutting did, but it gave her the same calming feeling. Another time she had clipped barettes to her skin, seeing if she could get the same "natural high" without leaving marks, but it didn't work.

A sick feeling washed over her as she looked at her arm again. Instinctively, she reached in her bag and brought out her razor. Just having the instrument in her hand comforted her, but it wasn't enough. Just as she was about to bring the silver tool to her skin, she heard voices and footsteps outside the bathroom door. She jerked down her sleeve and bent down over her bag when the door opened, and who else but Kara and Heather walked in. When she was sure the blade was tucked safely in the bag, she stood up and tried to smile at the two girls, but her heart was beating too fast from that close call.

_**Determination, is pushing me**_

_**Perseverence, is what I bleed**_

_**I wanted to believe in all of this**_

_**I wanted to believe in you**_

She looks sick, Kara thought to herself as she smiled at the other mage as she left. It was true. Adriane had never been fat, but she had lost a significant amount of weight in the past few weeks. Now she was downright bony. Her normally tan skin was tinted gray, and she seemed nervous. Maybe Gran's illness was really scaring her friend. The blazing star made a mental note to herself to talk with her.

"Did you see her?" Heather asked in bewilderment. Kara nodded, wondering what was going on.

_**All I am, all I have**_

_**Leads me down these roads again**_

_**Take my hand, show me the way**_

_**And never bring me back here**_

_**These are my unanswered prayers**_

_**The time has come for me to say goodbye**_

_**God please hear me, calling**_

"Adriane!"

Kara knocked on the cottage door again. Upon hearing no reply (again), she ran up to the manor house library. The blonde opened the door to find Adriane curled up on one of the cushioned chairs, stroking Dreamer. She had on a black hoodie, making it impossible for Kara to see her face until she turned around.

"Hey," the warrior greeted.

"Dreamer," Kara adressed the mistwolf. He turned liquid emerald eyes on her. "Could you leave for a moment, please? I have to talk to Adriane."

The wolf looked from Kara to Adriane, then left. Kara made sure he was on his way down the stairwell before closing the door.

"What's this about?" Adriane asked.

"You tell me. What on earth is wrong with you?"

"_What_? What did I do?"

Kara mentally cursed herself. She hadn't meant to sound so mean. "Sorry. I just-- You seem really distant. And you look sick. _Really_ sick."

The warrior laughed dryly and rolled her eyes. "Thanks," She muttered sarcastically.

"You know what I mean. What's wrong? You can tell me, we're friends now, remember? Friends talk to each other."

"_Nothing_."

"Uh-huh. Now tell me something that isn't a lie."

Adriane sank back down into the chair. "It's nothing you can help with, Kara. Really."

"You don't know that."

Suddenly, Adriane's eyes filled with rage. "What do you know?!" She screamed, tears threatening to spill.

"Adriane, calm down. Please," Kara pleaded, desperate to help her friend. "Let me help. At least tell me what's going on."

For some reason, for a fleeting moment, Adriane trusted Kara. And that fleeting moment was all that her tortured mind needed to pull up her sleeve and show Kara what she had done to herself. She watched the blazing star's face react to what she was showing her.

_**All I am, all I have**_

_**Leads me down these roads again**_

_**Take my hand, show me the way**_

_**And never bring me back here**_

_**These are my unanswered prayers**_

_**The time has come for me to say goodbye**_

_**God please hear me, calling

* * *

**_

**There you have it! The big Chapter 10. I have to say, I'm quite proud of this chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please review!**


	11. Monolith of Doubt

**You can find this song on YouTube or Project Playlist.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song "Monolith of Doubt". They belong to Rachel Roberts and After Forever respectively.**

_**The ordeal has begun**_

_**To oblige the unknown, within me**_

Inch by inch, Adriane pulled up her sleeve. Time seemed to slow down. Kara's blue eyes widened when both arms were fully exposed. Adriane immediately regretted what she had done.

"Hold on," Adriane said quietly. She pulled up the leg of her jeans.

"Oh my--" Kara gasped. Then she noticed her friend was crying. She felt her own eyes prickle with tears. "Have you told anyone else?"

The warrior shook her head, her eyes squeezed shut. "Please, you can't tell anyone."

"What do you expect me to do, then? I can't help you by myself!"

Adriane's eyes shot open. "Nothing! I don't expect you to do anything. I shouldn't even have shown you in the first place." She jerked down her sleeves and pant legs and sat on the chair again.

Kara sighed. Her heart went out to the mage, but she couldn't just let her keep hurting herself. Cautiously, she walked over to the other girl. "Adriane, you need to get help."

"No." Kara should have known-- her warrior pride and stubborness wouldn't allow anyone to help her.

"I can't let you do this. It isn't safe. You could die!"

Adriane snorted. "C'mon, Kara. Get real."

"I am! You know I'm going to have to tell Doctor Fletcher, or the guidance counselor."

"You wouldn't." Adriane said disbelievingly.

Kara's silence told her she was completely serious.

"What if I told you I would stop?" It was complete lie, she had no intentions of quitting, but maybe Kara would believe it and leave her alone.

Just as she expected, Kara hesitated briefly. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. She shook her head. "Sorry," She said. "But I can't trust you."

_**As I drown**_

_**Cannot remember, cannot think**_

_**As I sink, deep...**_

Later that night, Adriane locked herself in the cottage bathroom. Lily and Pierre were sound asleep, both having had a bit too much wine that night, so she wasn't worried about them coming in.

Carefully bringing out her razor blade, Adriane pulled up the left leg of her sweatpants. On the inside of her leg, starting at her knee and going down, she carved out the letter W. The cool blade against her skin was refreshing and she immediately felt relieved when the blood ran freely down her leg and dripped on to the tile. The cut wasn't very deep, but it was bleeding, and that was all she needed right now.

After a few seconds, the warrior used the razor to write out the letters O and R next to the W. They, too, began to bleed while she carved T,H, and L. The letters weren't exactly even, but she knew what it was. Three to go, she told herself, and the dark-eyed girl finished the word with ESS.

After what seemed like hours of holding a hand towel to her leg, the bleeding stopped. Adriane wasn't sure if she was happy that it did. She had let down everyone. She'd let down her friends, the Drake, Dreamer, Storm, the animals of Ravenswood, her parents, Gran... And Zach. What would he think if he saw what she had done?

Kara was freaked out. Adriane could see it. She didn't understand how hurting yourself could possibly make you feel good, but she was going to try and make her get better.

What if she didn't want to get better? She knew that she was what she had carved into her skin.

Worthless.

_**Near the monolith of doubt**_

_**Creeps the fear**_

_**The fear to lose yourself**_

_**In the severe reflection**_

"Marlin," Emily gasped when the Aquatanian prince unfolded his hand. There, in his palm, was a beautiful, traditionally made Aquatanian necklace.

"Wait," He said, and fastened the clasp around her neck. "There."

"What is this for?" Emily asked, admiring the small, but bright, sparkling blue gem that hung around the center of her collarbone.

"It's something merpeople give to someone special to them. It's tradition." Marlin forced down a blush, and Emily smiled.

"Thank you," She whispered.

Marlin smiled back. "You're welcome." His eyes turned to the sun setting over the ocean. "I think you should be getting back to Ravenswood now."

The healer nodded. Marlin led the way to the mirror-portal in the palace, and Emily hesitated before going through. Quickly and nervously, Emily pecked him on the cheek and disappeared into the silvery-gray glass.

Marlin just stood there, bewildered.

_**I don't know **_

_**A flashing moment that has frozen me**_

_**My whole existence passed by**_

_**Through the trusted eyes of a mirror**_

_**But it wasn't me that I could see**_

Kara sat on the edge of her bed, playing with her necklace in her hands. Her conscience was screaming at her to tell someone about Adriane, but another part of her laughed.

_She's no warrior_, the voice said. You _should take her place. She's bound to destroy herself sometime, then nothing will stop you from gaining her power. _

The Spider Witch!

_NO!_ Kara yelled in her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut in frustration. _I'm not like you!_

A silver light flashed, so bright that Kara could see it from behind her eyelids. She had a strange sensation that she was moving, then was jerked awake when she landed heavily on cold, hard earth.

_**This monolith of everything that I have been **_

_**Is vacillated and aghast**_

_**The inexorable time has taught me once again**_

_**That my features will change and macerate me**_

The witch stood above her, cackling. Kara looked at the wall behind her, to see a blank white tapestry that was being quickly painted over with a scene.

Kara gasped as the realization dawned on her.

_**See, it's me, my monolith of doubt**_

**And the plot is finally moving forward! Since I suck at writing romance, I'm asking you guys to help me out here: What should happen next with Marlin and Emily? Thanks in advance, and please review!**

**--Krista**


	12. Open Ground

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avalon: Web of Magic series or the song "Open Ground", they belong to Rachel Roberts and Tristania respectively. **

You can find this song on YouTube or Project Playlist.

* * *

_**Digging in the ground**_

_**Digging in the mud**_

_**Sweat streams down my face**_

_**My spit tastes like blood **_

"The Otherworlds!" Kara gasped.

"Very good, my dear," The Dark Sorceress stepped from the smoky nothingness and stood next to her accomplice. She pulled down the hood of her cloak and long silver blonde hair spilled over her shoulders. Her bright green animal eyes pierced the darkness. "We escaped, but have brought you here now."

"Why?" Kara asked, returning the sorceress' icy stares.

"We know where to locate the last of the nine-- oops, eight--" The Spider Witch looked pointedly at Kara, "--of the power crystals."

Kara resisted screaming at the witch. "I hadn't meant to destroy the crystal," She hissed through clenched teeth.

Thw witch smiled at the reaction she had managed to get out of the blazing star. "But that's beside the point. We know where the last crystal is. You and the other mages had returned six of them to the fairimentals, and, as you well know, Miranda (1) and I have the seventh. Now, you have a choice. Join us, and surrender your magic and your jewel to us, or sit and rot in the Otherworlds and surrender your magic and your jewel to us." (2)

_**Hide me with locks from your hair**_

_**I cannot breathe**_

"What do you choose?"

"What?" Kara spat, her blue eyes filled with hate. "Neither! I'll get myself out of here!"

"Silly girl," Miranda sighed. The sorceress glanced at her throat. "Lucinda, you meddling wench," She muttered under her breath. The Spider Witch caught this.

"What? What is it?"

The sorceress pointed a long, silver-clawed finger at Kara. Where her unicorn horn jewel usually hung was Lucinda's protection gem.

"Fairy magic!" The witch exclaimed. "We can't touch her!"

"No," Miranda agreed, but her eyes flashed. "But we can get her to take it off."

Kara snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Oh, I think we can," The sorceress smirked, and they walked out, talking to each other in low voices.

_**Bleeding...**_

_**Dying...**_

_**Digging...**_

_**Falling apart**_

_**The torch went out**_

_**The room went dark**_

Kara looked up when the Sorceress walked in again, flanked by two reptilian-like guards. "Take her," she said simply, and one guard grabbed her right arm and another grabbed her left. Kara shot them hostile glares and stood up, trying to shake their grip. The Sorceress noticed this and motioned for the guards to let her go.

"Follow me, or they lead you again," She told her and walked briskly into the fog. Kara obeyed, frantically thinking of ways to get herself out. She was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed when the swirling mists were replaced by stone walls and oak floors until she found herself staring into the flame of a lighted torch.

Kara was led into a large room, where the Spider Witch was directing arachnids over a stark white tapestry.

"Ah, here we are," She turned and grinned when they walked in. With the flick of her wrist, she silently ordered the reptilian guards to leave the chamber. "Come here, child."

Wary, Kara took a tentative step towards the witch, even though every fiber in her being screamed at her to stop.

"Stare into the tapestry."

_**Running in the fog**_

_**Crawling through the mud**_

_**Tears fall down my face**_

_**My spit tastes like blood**_

_**Cover me with locks from your hair**_

As soon as she glanced at the shimmering cloth weaved from spiderweb, she regretted it. She knew what was going to happen. She had experienced the same thing in the astral planes with Lucinda. Now it was too late to tear her gaze away.

_FLASH_

_Lyra, dying of the Black Fire that coursed through her veins..._

_Emily, hazel eyes exhausted and pained, leaning over the leopard, too late to save her..._

_Zach and Marlin, being beaten down by a manticore..._

_Adriane, doubled over on the ground as her arm bled..._

_And Lorren, staring at her, disappointed and hurt..._

_FLASH_

_**Bleeding...**_

_**Dying...**_

_**Digging...**_

_**Falling apart**_

_**The torch went out**_

_**The room went dark **_

Kara was ripped fiercely from the visions by the witch.

"We can make all that happen," She hissed, meaning every word. "Take off the protection amulet. Surrender your magic to us."

Kara pressed her lips into a thin line and shook her head, fighting back the tears that pricked her eyes. Thw witch's eyes blazed with anger. "Now!"

Rage flowed through Kara's veins. The unicorn jewel in her hand burned white-hot. Glittering blazing star power, combined with the Skultum magic she had acquired two years earlier and her paladin's firemental power, shot from the jewel, crashing into the witch and the sorceress. In the flash of white light, Kara thought she saw a beam of red-orange shooting towards her. In the next moment, Starfire, her paladin, the firemental stallion, stood proudly next to her.

_"Paladins come in time of great need,"_ He whinnied. In one fluid moment, Kara jumped onto the horse's back. Her jewel protected her from being burnt by the flames that made up the horse, as it had in the Fairy Realms. Starfire reared onto his hind legs, and with a powerful leap, galloped right through the tapestry.

_**Insanity is always near**_

_**Deep in my bag full of fear**_

_**I cannot see**_

_**The pain that trigged your screams**_

_**I cannot see**_

The next morning during school, Kara pulled Emily and Adriane aside to speak to them about what had happened the night before. Emily shifted in to business mode when Kara was finished, swearing to check on the dreamcatcher after school and be sure the animals knew to keep an eye out.

"We have to contact the fairmentals. They took over the Otherworlds-- who knows what they have control over now," Adriane said. Emily and Kara both agreed.

Emily glanced at her watch. "I'm going to be late," She told them, and headed off towards her class. Adriane turned to follow her, when Kara reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Ow!" She hissed. "Kara!"

"Just to let you know," The blonde whispered. "I haven't forgotten."

_**Bleeding...**_

_**Dying...**_

_**Digging...**_

_**Falling apart**_

_**The torch went out**_

_**The room went dark**_

Adriane stormed off to her next class and took a seat to the far right of the room. She could hear Rae, Mrs. Windor's annoying niece, trying to suck up to Molly and Tiffany by spreading false gossip.

"She looks anorexic," Rae commented in her loud, nasal voice, clearly talking about Adriane. "I bet she cuts herself too. Stupid emo kid."

The warrior rose in anger and walked over to Rae.

"What?" Rae asked impatiently.

Adriane didn't reply. She just drew her fist back and punched the other girl in the face so hard, she fell into the desk.

Silence immediately fell over the previously loud classroom.

"Adriane!" The teachers gasped in as shocked voice. "Main office! Now!"

_**Bleeding...**_

_**Dying...**_

_**Digging...**_

_**Falling apart**_

_**The torch went out**_

_**The room went dark**_

_**From the corner of my eye**_

_**I feel them closing in**_

_**I know they caught the scent o me**_

_**And then they went for me**_

_**I chose for you to stay with me

* * *

**_

**(1) - The books never say what the Sorceress's real name is, but in Heart of Avalon she called herself "Miranda", so I just used that name to add some variety.**

**(2) - Product of my imagination. I know that never happened in the books.**


	13. Solitary Ground

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song "Solitary Ground" they belong to Rachel Roberts and Epica respectively.**

**I thought I'd update a day early, because I won't be here tomorrow. You can find this song on YouTube or Project Playlist.**

_**Living at different places**_

_**Evading into various spaces**_

_**My compass has broken**_

_**I'm losing the way**_

_**An ongoing madness has led me astray**_

"You punched Rae?" Kara asked incredulously, barely containing her laughter.

"Uh-huh." The three girls were sitting around Emily's kitchen table, while Carolyn stood over the sink a few feet away, washing dishes.

"Mrs. Windor isn't going to like this," The redhaired healer fretted.

"I know," Adriane replied, "but I couldn't stop. She just made me _so_ mad."

"What did she say?" Carolyn asked.

Adriane bit her lip. "Something about Ravenswood," She lied.

Kara shot her a look. Tiffany had already told her what Rae had said. Adriane returned her glare.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. Carolyn went to answer it.

"Oh, hi Mrs. Stalling. Why don't you take Pumpkin to the clinic, I'll be right there." Carolyn told the woman. "Emily, could you come help me for a few minutes? Mrs. Stalling's dog got into something and now she's sick."

Emily nodded and pushed back her chair.

_**In me there's still a place that fulfills me**_

_**A sanctity here that I call home**_

_**I run to when winter descends**_

_**If I try, can I find solid ground?**_

When the Fletchers had left, Kara turned on Adriane.

"_What_ was that?" Kara demanded, getting up from her chair.

"What?" Adriane asked irritably, also rising.

"Lying!"

"I don't want Emily's mom knowing that I got upset when someone said that I probably cut myself," Adriane rolled her eyes. "She might suspect something."

"Her suspicions would be right!" Kara fumed. "I'm going straight to the guidance counselor tomorrow."

"I don't know why you care so much."

Kara was taken aback. "_What_?" She spat. "Do you still think I'm a shallow little twelve year old? I'm _not_. I'm not the same person I was two years ago. You should know that."

"Sorry, I just--"

"You just what? Thought I would let you keep on cutting yourself--" Kara stopped short, and her eyes looked behind Adriane. Her expression changed from anger to the look one might have when being caught doing something terrible. Adriane whipped around. Emily and Carolyn stood at the door, wide-eyed.

_**I follow elusive paths**_

_**Oh, it seems they've been written in stone**_

_**And the door to a new life is closing so fast **_

_**Burning the bridges will not bring me back**_

"Adriane," Carolyn said quietly, "Can I talk to you?"

The warrior's dark eyes hinted at her distress, but she nodded and followed the vet into the next room.

"Will you pull up your sleeves for me?" She asked, still in the quiet but firm tone she had spoken in earlier. Adriane hesitated for a moment, and then exposed her arms.

"You know I'm going to have to tell Lily and Pierre, right?"

Adriane swallowed hard, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears, and nodded. "There's more," She whispered.

"What?"

Adriane didn't reply, but sat on the floor and pulled up her left pant leg. The bloody word, 'worthless', carved into her leg glared back at her.

"Do you really believe this?" Carolyn asked, her voice edged with concern.

_**In me there's still a place that fulfills me**_

_**A sanctity here that I call home**_

_**I run to when winter descends**_

_**If I try, can I find solid ground?**_

"I don't know. I feel like it."

"Why?"

Adriane covered her leg again and squeezed her eyes shut. "I just do." She opened here eyes and moved to pull down her sleeves again.

"Does it have anything to do with Gran being sick?"

"I guess..." Adriane wouldn't meet Carolyn's eyes.

"I don't know why you're doing this. But I'm not a psychologist, and it's not my place to try and break of this habit. When I tell your aunt and uncle, they's notify your parents, I'm sure, and then I'll make sure your parents get you a therapist."

"They won't." The warrior stated simply.

"How do you know?"

"They've got another daughter. They adopted her eight months ago. They don't have the money."

"I'll talk to them anyway. Besides, I'm sure the school counselor would give you after-school sessions if they can't."

"Thank you," Adriane said, "But I have to get home." In one fluid movement, she got up from the floor and bolted through the kitchen, past Emily and Kara, and out the door.

_**In me there's still a place that fulfills me**_

_**A sanctity here that I call home**_

_**I run to when winter descends**_

_**If I try, can I find solid ground?**_

"So what's going on?" Emily asked her mother once Kara's parents had picked her up.

"I'm calling Lily and Pierre and making sure Adriane's parents try to get her a psychologist." Carolyn sighed. "Did you know about this?"

Emily's red curls bounced as she shook her head. "Kara did, though."

"Yeah, I figured as much." The redheaded vet picked up the off-white phone and dialed the number on the refrigerator.

_**I know that in me there's still a place that fulfills me**_

_**A sanctity here that I call home**_

_**I run to when winter descends **_

_**If I try, can I find solid ground?**_

"You stupid girl!" Lily screeched when she hang up the phone. "Your mother and father trusted us to take care of you while your grandmother was sick. Can you imagine what they'll think of us when they find out what you've been doing?!"

Typical Lily. Always thinking about what other though of her. Adriane lifted her eyes from the linoleum tile on the kitchen floor to look behind Lily. Pierre stood behind his wife (sober, shockingly), seething.

"Willow and Luc _will not_ know of this. Do I make myself clear?" Pierre demanded through clenched teeth.

Adriane stared back at them with hard, emotionless eyes. She would not cry in front of them. Instead of answering, she turned around and walked up the steps. When she had locked the door to her room, she fell onto her bed, exhausted, and slipped into a fitful sleep.

_**Or am I just wasting time?**_

_**...Wasting time?...**_


	14. Hello

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song "Hello", they belong to Rachel Roberts and Evanescence respectively.**

**As usual, you can find this song on YouTube or Project Playlist.

* * *

**

_**Playground school bell rings again**_

_**Rain clouds come to play again**_

_**Has no one told she's not**__**breathing?**_

_**Hello**_

_**I am your mind giving you someone to talk to**_

_**Hello**_

The doorbell rang.

Adriane looked up from the kitchen table, where she had been picking at sandwich. Who could that be, she wondered, and walked to the door. She peeked out of the window next to the door and barely contained her gasp.

"Alan!" She cried when the door swung open. The dark-haired man standing before her caught her in big bear hug. She returned it warmly.

Alan kneeled down and held her at arm's length. "Hey, favorite niece," He joked. "You're getting to be really pretty."

Adriane smile self-consciously. Alan was Willow's younger brother. He was a very tall, gentle twenty-six year old, with long dark hair tied back in a low ponytail.

"Wow," Alan said, standing. "This place hasn't changed a bit." Then he turned to her. "Where are Lily and Pierre?"

"Out. They're having lunch with some friends."

"Okay. I'll wait till they get back." Alan sat on the couch.

"Why are you here?" Adriane asked, slightly confused.

Alan looked confused as well. "They didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"I'm taking you into Connecticut today. We're going to visit your grandmother in the hospital."

Adriane's eyes widened. "They didn't tell me! How long is the drive?"

"Around four hours. We'd drive up there today and get there by six, then stay at a hotel and visit Mom in the morning, and head back around this time tomorrow."

Adriane suddenly couldn't wait for her aunt and uncle to get home. She had always liked Alan, she remembered when he used to sneak her treats when she was little. He also talked to her (usually over the phone) when she was lonely because her family had moved again.

_**If I smile and don't believe**_

_**Soon I know that I'll wake from this dream**_

_**Don't try to fix me I'm not broken**_

Adriane and Alan spent the next hour talking and sharing stories. Alan had seemed really interested in how her guitar playing had been coming along, and Adriane remembered that he had played bass guitar in a band in college. Alan was a social worker, and one of the stories he told her was about little twelve-year-old girl whose parents had beaten her. One day it got so bad that she had was put in a coma and had to go to the hospital. That how the authorities found out and she was currently staying in a foster home.

_She_ has a reason to cut herself, Adriane thought, suddenly ashamed. I've got it easy compared to those kids. How can I possibly be so selfish?

Of course, thinking about how stupid she was for cutting only made her want to cut more. She listened half-heartedly to Alan's other stories until Lily and Pierre burst through the front door. They stopped dead when they saw Alan.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Pierre asked snottily.

"I told you over the phone last week. I'm taking Adriane to see her grandmother today."

"No you're not," Lily snarled. "_We_ were asked to take care of her. _We_ decide where she goes, when and with whom. I'm not going to allow it."

Adriane's heart sank. She had been looking forward to the eight-hour road trip with her uncle and seeing Gran.

"Lily, it'll be good for her," Alan protested. "Besides, my mother wants to see her."

"_No_!"

"Call Willow." Alan stated simply.

Pierre gave him a hard, angry stare. "I think it's best if you leave now."

"I don't. Call Willow."

Lily sulkily mad her way over to the phone, pressed the "speaker" button and punched in the number. The house was silent while the phone rang once, twice, three times. Then a chil's voice answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Janelle, sweetie," Lily began in a sickening voice. "Are your mommy and daddy home?"

"Daddy's here. Mommy's working on a painting."

"Can I speak to him?"

"Daddy!" Adriane heard the little girl yell. She had to admit-- She sounded cute. Adriane wondered if Janelle knew who she was.

"What is it, Sweet Pea?" Luc's voice came over the phone. The warrior's heart nearly broke. She was mad at him-- But she missed her dad.

"Aunt Lily's on the phone. She wants to talk to you." There was some scratching noise and then Luc spoke again.

"Lily?"

"Yes, and Pierre and your daughter and Alan. A little problem seems to have come up."

"Alan? What's he doing there?"

"Exactly. Alan wants to take your daughter to the hospital in Greenfield to see her grandmother. I don't think it's a good idea, but we wanted to hear what you have to say."

"Well, what does Adriane want to do?"

"I want to go," Adriane raised her voice a little to be heard. She didn't want Lily answering for her.

"I think it's fine," Luc said.

"Alright. Thank you, Luc." Lily hung up the phone and sighed heavily. "Looks like you're going." Adriane smiled and started to run upstairs, but Lily followed her.

"Listen, brat," She hissed. "You're not going to let anyone know of _this_," Lily grabbed her arm harshly, and Adriane winced in pain. "Do I make myself clear?"

Instead of replying, the dark-haired girl glared at her aunt and started to pack a bag.

"Do I make myself clear?" Lily repeated impatiently.

"You know what? I don't care." Adriane stormed past her and down the hall into the bathroom.

_**Hello**_

_**I am the lie living for you so you can hide**_

_**Hello**_

Adriane has packed her toothbrush, hair comb, and other things she would need, and was now inwardly debating whether or not to bring her razor. In two and a half months, cutting had become something of a drug, and Adriane wasn't sure if could survive a day without the blade. Biting her lip, she took a breath and decided to leave it. Too much of a risk of getting caught. She truly didn't care that Lily didn't want anyone else to know, but Adriane would rather not broadcast what she was doing to herself to the whole world.

She let out the breath she had been holding and walked out of the bathroom. "Alan," She called. "I'm ready to go."

_**Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping**_

_**Hello, I'm still here**_

**_All that's left of yesterday__

* * *

_**


	15. The Escapist

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic Series or the song "The Escapist", they belong to Rachel Roberts and Nightwish respectively.**

**You can find this song on YouTube or Project Playlist.

* * *

**

_**Who's there, knocking at my window**_

_**The Owl and the Dead Boy **_

_**This night whispers my name**_

_**All the dying children**_

Adriane enjoyed the four hour drive. Alan was fun to talk to, but it wasn't awkward when silence reigned, either. By the time The gaudy red Lumina had pulled into the Greenfield Hospital parking lot, the warrior was glad for the chance to stretch her legs, although she was more interested in visiting Gran. When Alan had checked with the receptionist, Adriane found herself nearly running down the stark white hallway. The dark-haired girl paused, though, when she reached her grandmother's room. She looked behind her and saw Alan jogging to catch up, and he nodded to her. With a deep breath, she turned the doorknob and walked inside.

_**Virgin snow beneath my feet**_

_**Painting the world in white**_

_**I spread my wings and lose myself into a tale**_

Gran was sitting up, and had been reading a book when Adriane came in. Her eyes sparkled when she saw her son and grand-daughter. Her long, white hair was out of its usual braid, and hung freely over the pillow.

"Little Wolf!" She greeted warmly, arms outstretched. The warrior smiled and returned the hug. "Hi, Gran."

"It so good to see both of you! Hopefully, I'll be out of here in in time for your birthday. The doctors say it was a stroke."

With a startled jolt, Adriane realized that she had forgotten her own birthday. She'd be fifteen next week!

"Oh, Mom, that's terrible," Alan replied. "Did they say if you would make a full recovery?"

"Well, do I look recovered to you?" Gran teased.

"Strokes are--" Alan began, but Gran waved him quiet. "I'll be fine. How have you been?"

_**Come hell or high water**_

_**My search will go on**_

_**Clayborn Voyage without a name**_

Adriane felt like Gran's dark eyes were boring into her, trying to find some secret pain, but she pushed that fear down. She was just being paranoid. "Good," she said, and plastered a smile on her face.

Alan's smile looked more sincere. "Same," he told her. But Adriane and I can only stay until tomorrow. She has school on Monday."

"I don't mind missing a couple days," Adriane chirped up.

Gran gave her a mock-stern look. "But _I_ do." The warrior grinned, and her hope was slowly beginning to restore. Gran would be better in no time, and Lily and Pierre would be gone for good.

_**A nightingale in a golden cage**_

_**That's me, locked inside reality's maze**_

_**Come someone, make my heavy heart light**_

_**Come undone bring me back to life**_

_A dark-haired girl fought through the fog, even though she could feel her muscles growing tired. Every movement was an effort, including breathing. Just as she felt as though it the fog was giving up, the gray emptiness thickened, and she fell into black..._

"Adriane!"

The warrior's deep brown eyes snapped open. Alan was banging on the door to her room at the motel, and he sounded frantic. Quickly, she pushed back the covers and unlocked the door. Alan was standing there, already dressed, with an alarmed look in his eyes. "It's Gran!" He called over his shoulder as he ran to his car. Adriane gasped, and, still in the gray exercise pants and black tank top she had worn to bed, pulled in her boots and followed him.

_**A nightingale in a golden cage**_

_**That's me locked inside reality's maze**_

_**Come someone, make my heavy heart light**_

_**It all starts with a lullaby**_

_**Journey homeward bound**_

_**The sound of a dolphin calling**_

_**Tearing off the mask of man**_

_**The tower my sole guide**_

_**This is who I am**_

_**Escapist, paradiseseeker**_

_**Farewell, now time to fly**_

_**Out of sight, out of mind, away from all lies**_

The doctors rushed in and out of Gran's room. Adriane leaned into Alan and he put his arm around her, pulling her close. A crystalline tear trailed down her cheek, and Alan leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I think we should be getting back. There's nothing we can do here."

_**A nightingale in a golden cage **_

_**That's me, locked inside reality's maze...**_

_**A nightingale in a golden cage**_

_**That's me, locked inside reality's maze**_

_**Come someone, make my heavy heart light**_

_**Come undone, bring me back to life**_

Emily and Adriane sat quietly on the porch of the cottage after school on Monday, watching the last rays of the sun bleed into the dark hills.

"I'm sorry," Emily said suddenly, breaking the silence between the two friends.

"For what?" Adriane asked, taken off-guard.

"For what happened with Gran. For Lily and Pierre. For not being there when you needed it."

"Emily!" Adriane jumped up. "That is _not_ your fault. You were there for me, and I knew you were there, but I just... Couldn't. I couldn't talk to _anyone_. I wanted to keep it to myself."

"Still." Emily's hazel eyes glittered. "I think it's a good idea if you and I and Kara and the animals visit Aldenmor. Zach-- Zach might want to know what's going on."

Adriane sat back down. "I don't know, I mean..." But her words trailed off, and she looked the healer in the eye. "Alright," She nodded.

_**A nightingale in a golden cage**_

_**That's me, locked inside reality's maze**_

_**Come someone, make my heavy heart light**_

**_It all starts with a lullaby _ **

_

* * *

_

Eh, sorry this was short. I wasn't very inspired for this chapter, because it's mostly just a filler. But I'll make it up to you guys in the next one. It'll be better, I promise.


	16. What Have You Done

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series, nor do I own the song "What Have You Done". They belong to Rachel Roberts and Within Temptation respectively.**

**Search for this song on YouTube and Project Playlist using "Within Temptation What Have You Done".**

**---**

_**What have you done now?**_

_**I know I'd better stop trying**_

_**You know that there's no denying**_

_**I won't show mercy on you now**_

_**I know I should stop believing**_

_**I know that there's no retrieving**_

_**It's over now**_

_**What have you done?**_

_**What have you done now?**_

Emily, Kara, Adriane, Dreamer, Ozzie, and Lyra stepped through the portal and onto the grassy fields in Aldenmor's Garden. Zach, Marlin, Lorren, Tasha and The Drake were waiting for them there. The healer and blazing star smiled at them, then nodded to Adriane. Reluctantly, Adriane motioned for Zach to follow her. He gave her a curious glance, obviously wondering why she had wanted to speak to him privately, but he followed her nevertheless. They walked until they couldn't see or hear the group any longer.

The warrior sat on the grass, knees pulled up to her chest, staring solemnly at the clear blue sky. Zach grew concerned, and sat down next to her. Gently, the sandy-haired boy touched her shoulder and she turned sad, deep brown eyes on him. A breeze picked up pushed her long black hair out of her face, and she checked twice to make sure it wasn't Ambia. She wanted this private.

"What did you want to tell me?"

Adriane sighed. Did she really want to do this?

"Adriane?"

Suddenly, the warrior's mind filled with all types of scenarios and fears, but she pushed them away and reached for the edge of her sleeve. "Zach..."

_**I have been waiting for someone like you**_

_**But now you are slipping away**_

_**Why, why does fate make us suffer?**_

_**There's a curse between us, between me and you**_

_**What have you done now?**_

_**Would you mind if I killed you?**_

_**Would you mind if I tried to**_

_**Because you have turned into my worst enemy**_

_**You carry hate that I don't feel**_

_**It's over now**_

_**What have you done?**_

_**What have you done now?**_

Zach walked rapidly away from Adriane, his blue eyes filled with anger. He could hear her jump up and follow him. They made their way across the field, and Zach could see the group about a hundred yards away.

"Zach, please!" The dark-haired girl pleaded.

The dragon rider whipped around to face her. "Please _what_?" He was well aware of the others watching them.

"Zach, listen. I get it. I know you're mad--" She began, walking towards him.

"Of course I'm mad!" Zach yelled. As if to emphasize his point, his dragon stone flared red. "You hurt yourself, Adriane! Intentionally!"

"I'm sorry." Adriane and Zach stood about six feet apart now, facing each other. Both jewels reacted to emotions, and while Zach's pulsed a bright, angry red, Adriane's dimmed until is was a dull bronze.

"I can't believe you would do something so stupid!" The explosion of emotion caused Zach's stone to react wildly, sending a sparkling red bolt of electric light toward the warrior. The dark-haired girl didn't have time to protect herself, nor did Zach have the time to recall the power, and the force of the magic knocked her to the ground. Thankfully, Adriane was not seriously injured and got back on her feet, but her eyes regarded him cautiously. He couldn't stand that look-- He now felt like Asshole of the Year. Zach turned around to the sounds of a chorus of yells, and saw his friends running to them.

"What happened?!" Lorren exclaimed, his green eyes wide.

"My... stone, it--" He caught sight of the warrior mage rubbing her shoulder and glaring at him with hurt and anger and gasped. "Adriane!"

"Save it," She snarled, then looked at Emily. "This was a mistake."

_**I have been waiting for someone like you**_

_**But now you are slipping away**_

_**Why, why does fate make us suffer?**_

_**There's a curse between us, between me and you**_

_**I will not fall**_

_**Won't let it go**_

_**We will be free when it ends**_

_**I have been waiting for someone like you**_

_**But now you are slipping away**_

_**Why, why does fate make us suffer?**_

_**There's a curse between us, between me and you**_


	17. 1,19

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song "1.19", they belong to Rachel Roberts and Lacuna Coil respectively. I also do not own Forever 21.**

_**Ray of light annoying as a cold breath in the eyes**_

_**Water falls down**_

_**Lights around are flashing **_

_**And in meat a razorblade**_

_**Water falls down**_

Emily sighed heavily and leaned on Marlin's shoulder. He ran his fingers through her red curls, and she looked up at him. 

"Tired?" He asked, gazing towards the sun, which shone brightly above the wildflower field in the Garden.

"No," She replied. "Just... I don't know. This is all so weird."

"You expected something different?"

Emily laughed. "Where did Kara and Adriane go?"

"Lorren took them to the Fairy Realms. What happened to Zach?"

"Went off on his own." Marlin rolled his eyes. "He messed up big this time."

Emily fiddled with her gem. "It wasn't his fault. These jewels react wildly when emotions are concerned." 

Marlin kissed the top of her head. "Don't worry too much about it. These things work themselves out over time."

Emily wasn't so sure.

_**Seems to be the day **_

_**(I cannot handle this)**_

_**Listen to the music in my mind**_

_**For a while**_

_**Seems to be my hour**_

_**My shell has disappeared**_

_**Swallow whirls of dust into my mouth**_

_**But it's wonderful, I know**_

_**But it's wonderful, I know**_

Queen Raelda smiled as she peeked out the window from behind the vanilla-colored curtain. She saw her son and the blazing star sitting on a low stone wall in the courtyard, talking. Kara swung her feet back and forth and stared at the ground, occasionally looking up at Lorren and flashing him a brilliant smile. Raelda couldn't think of anyone better to become the next queen. 

She turned back to the parlor room and smiled at the sullen warrior. She lifted her dark eyes from the teacup as Raelda spoke. 

"They're adorable," The goblin queen cooed. 

Adriane tried to smile, but tears pricked the back of her eyes and she stared back down into the yellow-green liquid in the teacup.

Raelda's own eyes softened, "You kids won't tell me what's going on," She began, "but I know a relationship problem when I see one. Anything I can help with?"

Adriane shook her head vigorously. "No." Her voice cracked as she choked down a sob.

"That bad?" Raelda bit her lip. 

_**Hiding all my fear**_

_**My nightmare is becoming real**_

_**C'mon, take a look at me**_

_**I'm a loser**_

_**Hiding all my crimes **_

_**And then forgettig all my ideas**_

_**Take a look at me**_

_**I'm a loser**_

"It's just... difficult. And confusing. And I have my own stuff to worry about, so why should I care if he's mad at me or not?" Adriane said acidly. 

Raelda sighed, but inwardly, she smiled. She knew how much the mage liked the blond human boy. "But you do care."

"I shouldn't. That's the problem. I just need him to leave me alone, and I- I'll stay out of his face. It's better for both of us that way."

"Perhaps," Raelda said evasively. "Or maybe you're plunging blindly forward on a path that'll just hurt the both of you."

"That path's already ended," Adriane muttered. She set her teacup on the finely crafted wooden side table. "Thanks, Queen Raelda, but we probably should be getting back."

"Of course, of course. Be safe!" Raelda called after her as she left to gather the other mages. 

_**Hiding all my fear**_

_**My nightmare is becoming real**_

_**C'mon, take a look at me**_

_**I'm a loser**_

_**Hiding all my crimes **_

_**And then forgettig all my ideas**_

_**Take a look at me**_

_**I'm a loser**_

_**But it's wonderful, I know**_

_**But it's wonderful, I know**_

_**But it's wonderful, I know**_

_**But it's wonderful, I know**_

Shopping with Kara always proved to be interesting. The excited blonde mage grabbed Adriane's hand-- careful not to accidentally snatch her wrist-- and dragged her into yet another store. The warrior barely caught the name of the shop: Forever 21. She didn't even bother to hide rolling her eyes. 

Kara dived into the racks, pulling out various colored-and-patterned shirts and looking in the mirror. She turned to Adriane, holding a black and yellow swirly patterned no-sleeved shirt to her front.

"What do you think?"

Adriane shrugged. "I-- It looks nice, Kara."

Kara smiled and tore up the racks again. This time, when she resurfaced, she was holding a black and dark blue striped short-sleeved shirt. 

"This would look great on you," She smiled.

Adriane shook her head. "No, Kara, it wouldn't." Her friend looked crestfallen. 

"Why not?

Adriane walked over and tugged on the sleeve. "Too short." She muttered.

Realization dawned on Kara's face. "Oh- oh, I'm sorry. Right." She went to go place it back on the racks, but stopped. "It would still look fantastic on you, so... Why don't you buy it now, and then when you get better, you can wear it? You klnow, use it as incentive to get better."

Adriane smiled. "Alright," She agreed. "But only because I know you're going to bother me forever if I don't."

_**Hiding all my fear**_

_**My nightmare is becoming real**_

_**C'mon, take a look at me**_

_**I'm a loser**_

_**Hiding all my crimes **_

_**And then forgetting all my ideas**_

_**Take a look at me**_

_**I'm a loser**_

_**I'm a loser**_

_**I'm a loser**_

_**I'm a loser**_

_**I'm a loser**_

_**It's just an illusion**_

_**I'm a loser**_

_**I'm a loser... **_

* * *

**Well, look at that! This chapter sucked, and I'm sorry for that, but it ended on a high note!**


	18. Ghost Opera

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song "Ghost Opera", they belong to Rachel Roberts and Kamelot respectively.

* * *

**

_**Walls so white**_

_**When your sorrows have a name**_

_**And day is dark as night**_

_**There's no remorse and no redemption**_

_**Close the door, can you hear the crowd is waiting**_

_**For the last encore**_

_**Screaming out for my attention**_

Zach wandered aimlessly around Aldenmor. His shaggy blond hair fell into his crystal blue eyes, and he watched his shoes stepping on the lush green grass.

Shoes Adriane had gotten for him.

"Ugh," The sixteen-year-old muttered, disgusted with himself. Why couldn't he control his magic? Why did they have to be standing so close to each other? Why had he been so angry with her? Why--

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. "I can't think about it," He murmured. He wondered if he should talk to Lorren or Marlin, or even vent to Drake, although he knew the dragon wouldn't know what he was talking about. The dragonrider finally decided that his friend in the Fairy Realms was probably best.

_**Chanting my name**_

_**Welcome all to curtain call**_

_**At the opera**_

_**Raging voices in my mind**_

_**Rise above the orchestra**_

_**Like a crescendo of gratitude**_

_**This is my song**_

After leaving Drake in the expert care of the fairimentals, Zach stepped through the mirror in the Garden and crossed over to the Goblin Kingdom. He walked through the courtyard and right up to the enormous castle door, and, undaunted, knocked on the wood. Inside, he heard a flurry of activity and Raelda swung the door open, a huge grin on her pale green face.

"Zach!" She exclaimed. "I'm sorry, but you've missed her. The mages left two hours ago."

A look of confusion spread across his face. "Adriane?" He asked.

Raelda looked equally confused. "Yes... Weren't you here to see her? She was awfully quiet when she and Kara came around."

"Actually, I wanted to talk to Lorren... Adriane and I aren't exactly on speaking terms right now."

"How... Unfortunate," Raelda replied, her smile now faded completely. She called a servant over to fetch Lorren. "Why don't you wait in the parlor?" She suggested. "Lorren will be down in a minute."

_**Like the dead**_

_**I am on the other side**_

_**They're howling in my head**_

_**There's no remorse and no redemption**_

_**Hush, my dear**_

_**Let the music fill the night**_

**_And soon it's all we hear_**

_**Screaming out for my attention**_

"Yeah, you kind of..." Lorren began.

"I know, I know," He cut the goblin off. "I suck. I know this. But, do you have _any_ idea about how I can make this right?"

"I can only think of the cliche... Go and apologize?"

Zach began to roll his eyes, but caught himself. Too... Adriane-like. "Is that my only option?"

"Seems like it." Lorren grinned. "Be prepared to face the wrath of the warrior. What did she say that made you so mad, anyway?"

The blond shook his head. "Too complicated," He told him, and walked out of the parlor. He thanked the queen and headed back to the mirror that would take him to the Garden again.

_**Chanting my name**_

_**Chanting my name**_

_**Welcome all to curtain call**_

_**At the opera**_

_**Raging voices in my mind**_

_**Rise above the orchestra**_

_**Like a crescendo of gratitude**_

_**Don't wake me until it's over**_

_**I, I may be dreaming away**_

_**Chanting my name**_

_**Chanting my name**_

Zach sat in Okawa's treehouse, staring into the night. Drake slept at the foot of the tree, an occasional snore escaping him. A cool breeze blew past him, and Zach checked to see if it was Ambia, coming to comfort him, but the wind took no shape. The blond boy sighed as he pondered the day's events, which kept replaying themselves over and over in his head, like a movie (Damn it, he thought, movies are on Earth... With _her_!).

Zach closed his eyes, exhausted, and lay on one of the blankets on the wooden floor. I'll visit Earth tomorrow, he thought, as he drifted off.

_**Welcome all to curtain call**_

_**At the opera**_

_**Raging voices in my mind**_

_**Rise above the orchestra**_

_**Like a crescendo of gratitude**_

_**Welcome all to curtain call**_

_**At the opera**_

_**Raging voices in my mind**_

_**Rise above the orchestra**_

_**Like a crescendo of gratitude**_

**

* * *

****I am SO sorry these last few chapters have been a bit late... Thursdays have just gotten to be really busy for me. Ah well, next week I have a surprise, so keep reading!**


	19. Tourniquet

**

* * *

**

Disclamer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song "Tourniquet", they belong to Rachel Roberts and Evanescence respectively.

* * *

_**I tried to kill the pain**_

_**But only brought more**_

_**(So much more)**_

_**I lay dying**_

_**And I'm pouring**_

_**Crimson regret and betrayal**_

Adriane ran her hands through her glossy black hair in frustration. She should have known-- She should have known Zach would be mad at her. Wasn't that what always happened? As soon as she happy and content, fate decides to rip it viciously away. She sat cross-legged on the carpet in her room, staring at the ugly yellow paint that peeked through her posters on one wall. She pushed up her pant leg for the third time that night, staring at the word carved there. She hadn't cut-- yet. She wanted to, but she was too exhausted and upset to even do that.

_**I'm dying, praying**_

_**Bleeding and screaming**_

_**Am I too lost to be saved?**_

_**Am I too lost?**_

_**My God, my tourniquet**_

_**Return to me salvation**_

_**My God, my tourniquet**_

_**Return to me salvation**_

Finally, she stood up slowly and walked down the hall, the call of the blade too strong now to resist. She heard Lily and Pierre downstairs having dinner, so she just closed the bathroom door. A million thoughts rushed through her head, a million reasons to cut, and a few that begged her not to. They sounded oddly like Emily and Kara's voices, which Adriane found somewhat funny.

The warrior stood over the sink. She still had not retrieved the razor from the medicine cabinet, but she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She had the strange urge to smash the mirror-- not because she was so full of hatred for herself, but because she'd seen it in a music video once and thought it was cool, which she also found odd. She shook her head. No, she decided, it would alert her aunt and uncle about what she was doing.

_**Do you remember me?**_

_**Lost for so long**_

_**Will you be on the other side**_

_**Or will you forget me?**_

Adriane pondered about how pathetic she must seem to her friends. Honestly, who does this to themselves? No wonder Zach was angry. Anything he might have liked about her must be overshadowed now. Vaguely, she wondered if her friends had told anyone else, but decided t wasn't important if they had-- she trusted their judgment, no matter how crazy hers seemed to be at the moment.

_**I'm dying, praying**_

_**Bleeding and screaming**_

_**Am I too lost to be saved?**_

_**Am I too lost?**_

_**My God, my tourniquet**_

_**Return to me salvation**_

_**My God, my tourniquet**_

_**Return to me salvation**_

Adriane blinked slowly. She inhaled a breath of air, and came to an internal decision. She exhaled and reached for the cabinet door.

_**I want to die**_

Dreamer lay on the forest floor, fast asleep. Suddenly, a strange sensation he had never felt before made him prick his ears curiously. His emerald eyes snapped open, and jumbled thoughts surged through his head. "_Pack-mate!_" He screamed in his head. A vivid picture of a bleeding warrior inside the cottage crossed his mind. Frantic, the mistwolf bounded as fast as his strong legs would carry him to the door. He could see the light in the kitchen on, and heard voices inside. He threw his head back and howled loudly, hoping the humans would hear the urgency in his voice and let him in. When no one came, Dreamer tried a different strategy.

_**My God, my tourniquet**_

_**Return to me salvation**_

_**My God, my tourniquet**_

_**Return to me salvation**_

Emily looked up from her computer when she heard a shuffling noise near the barn. Her first thought was for the two dogs that were currently residing in the Pet Palace, so she slipped on her sneakers and ran outside. When she got to the wooden structure, she noticed a familiar black coat.

"Dreamer?" She questioned. "What are you doing here?"

"_Pack-mate_," He panted. "_Pack-mate is injured._"

Emily gasped and bolted inside the house. "Mom!" She cried. "Mom! I need you to take me to Ravenswood, _now_!"

The dark green Explorer pulled into the long gravel driveway of Ravenswood.

"Emily, I really don't think this is necessary," Carolyn told her daughter. "Perhaps Dreamer just got loose and wandered into our yard--"

"Mom, you know that doesn't happen. Dreamer knows his boundaries," Emily cut off her mother.

"_That's right_," Dreamer told the healer telepathically from the backseat. When the SUV finally stopped, Emily opened her door and she and Dreamer jumped out. She pounded on the cottage door, hoping desperately that Lily and Pierre would let her in. After what seemed like ages, a sleepy-eyed Lily opened the door.

"Can I help you?" She asked, trying to be polite.

"Dreamer came to our house," Carolyn said. "We think it's because Dreamer knows there's something wrong with your niece-- That extra sense animals possess, you know."

Lily kept herself from rolling her eyes. These people were crazy. "Alright, come on in," she moved out of the doorframe.

Emily lightly touched her gem to telepathically inform Kara of the events. She recieved only an 'ok' from the blonde blazing star, then static.

"Where is she, Dreamer?" Emily asked the wolf. Dreamer only had to scent the air once, and the powerful stench of blood filled his senses. He vaguely wondered how humans could be so dense to the smell.

"_This way_," He said, then bounded up the staircase.

_**My wounds cry for the grave**_

_**My soul cries for deliverance**_

_**Will I be denied Christ?**_

_**Tourniquet**_

_**My suicide...**_

**Sorry this is so late, but it's hard keeping up with this, and I wanted to do this chapter right. Hope you enjoyed it!**


	20. Life Is Beautiful

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series, or the song "Life Is Beautiful", they belong to Rachel Roberts and Sixx:A.M. respectively.**

**You can find this song on YouTube or Project Playlist. Yes, I know it's about heroin addiction, not self-injury, but I like the song and I thought it would go well with the story.**

* * *

_**You can't quit until you try**_

_**You can't live until you die**_

_**You can't learn to tell the truth until you learn to lie**_

Time slowed down so that every agonizing second lasted an eternity. Emily followed Dreamer as he raced up the stairs, red curls flying behind her. Her mother and Lily climbed up more slowly-- couldn't they sense the urgency in the air? Emily and Dreamer reached the landing at the top of the stairs and the black mistwolf whined and scratched at the stark white bathroom door. Emily grabbed for the silver metal doorknob and twisted it open. It creaked and landed with a bang on the wall. Emily looked in--

_**You can't breathe until you choke**_

_**You gotta laugh when you're the joke**_

_**There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive**_

And screamed. The bloodcurdling noise ripped unbidden from her throat, echoing throughout the small cottage. She heard a startled grunt in the room across the hall, and somewhere in her stunned mind she assumed that had been Pierre. She felt her mother's presence behind her, and her firm, guiding hand on her shoulder. She was glad, because the scene displayed on the bathroom floor that night was one she was sure would haunt her nightmares for as long as she lived.

_**Just open your eyes**_

_**Just open your eyes**_

_**And see that life is beautiful**_

_**Will you swear on your life**_

_**That no one will cry at my funeral**_

There, lying almost peacefully against the corner of a wall in a pool of her own blood, was her friend. Her long, dark hair was knotted and matted with red liquid, and her eyes were closed. Her left arm, the sleeve of the skintight black sweatshirt pushed up for all to see, was mutilated. Cuts that looked like they had been made by sandpaper ran up and down from her wrist to her elbow, but the worst were the ones that were obviously the work of a razor. The old scars were barely visible under the torrent of spilled blood-- it ran like a red river from wherever the cut was and dripped onto the white tile floor. Blood still ran freely from the newly-made cuts, which triggered some hope in the Healer part of the redhaired mage. If she was still bleeding, she could still be saved.

_**I know some things that you don't**_

_**I've done things that you won't**_

_**There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home**_

Carolyn was the first to react. Her _Emergency Vet_-like efficiency spread to the others, and she began barking orders.

"Lily, call 911, _now_!" Carolyn didn't wait to see the thin woman dash from the hall and down the stairs, she was already searching through the cabinets to find a bandage. "Emily, lift her arm up to slow the blood flow. We don't have a tourniquet, so we'll have to make do. Here," She exclaimed, holding up a pinkish cotton bandage. She quickly and tightly wrapped Adriane's right arm, which Emily hadn't seen and didn't wish to, and tossed a white towel to her daughter. The healer did the same to her left arm, trying to keep her sickness down as the blood soaked the towel through within seconds.

"The ambulance is coming!" Lily called.

"What on Earth has that girl gone and done _now_?" Pierre grumbled irritably, and Emily bit her tongue to keep from shouting at him. Well, at least she knew now why the warrior hated him so much. Another thought sneaked into her consciousness. Is that why she'd tried to commit suicide? Emily's stomach turned at the prospect.

Emily's arm was aching from holding her friend's cuts above her head when she finally heard sirens in the distance. Seconds later, she heard the door bang open and the paramedics rushed up the stairs of the cottage. The red-and-white garbed professionals moved her and her mother out of the way and into the hall, where they watched, exhausted.

_**I was waiting for my hearse**_

_**What came next was so much worse**_

_**It took a funeral to make me feel alive**_

Kara sat in the middle of the portal field, picking at the sparse spring grass, Lyra dozing off a few yards away. The blazing star shivered as a cold breeze passed through the trees-- Spring was still a few weeks away, but winter seemed to have a deathgrip on the small Pennsylvania town.

The blonde teenager looked down curiously when she felt her unicorn jewel heat up. She and Lyra exchanged a confused glance, and the leopard stood up from her sunny patch and sniffed around. The red and pink lines that wound around the sparkling stone blazed, and she realized that the air was growing thick and starting to sparkle. A glittering cloud of magic began to spiral out of nowhere, and out of the portal fell-- Zach!

_**Just open your eyes  
Just open your eyes**_

_**And see that life is beautiful**_

_**Will you swear in your life**_

_**That no one will cry at my funeral**_

The sandy-haired boy looked up from where he had fallen, blue-green eyes searching the field until they landed on Kara.

"Kara! I need to talk to Adriane," he cried.

A part of the blazing star was devestated-- He didn't know! But yet another part of her thought, 'Aw, how sweet!'

"Zach," The pretty girl took her friend's arm and sat him on a large gray rock. "Adriane..." She gulped. She could hardly wrap her brain around what her friend had done to herself, how on Earth would Zach react? The boy's pleading eyes urged her to go on.

"She tried to kill herself." There. She'd said it. She watched the dragonrider's eyes widen in shock.

"Di-- Did she succeed?"

Kara shook her head. "No, thank God. She's at the hospital now. Willow is with her."

"Could I see her?"

"I don't know."

_**Just open your eyes  
Just open your eyes**_

_**And see that life is beautiful**_

_**Will you swear in your life**_

_**That no one will cry at my funeral**_

Zach raced from Ravenswood and into town, following Kara's directions as she shouted them from behind. He arrived at the electric sliding doors and waited impatiently for Kara to catch up. He saw someone who looked like Adriane inside the doors and rushed in, but then quickly realized that woman had darker skin, shorter hair, and a less attention-commanding presence. Nevertheless, he recognized her as Willow, Adriane's mother.

"Ms. Charday?" He asked timidly.

The woman looked up from tending to a thin, sickly-looking old woman. Gran! "Yes, sweetie?"

"Can I see Adriane?"

Willow's dark eyes betrayed her momentary confusion. "Oh! You're Zach, Adriane's friend from Allentown, right?"

Zach nodded. Willow bit her lip, but finally said, "Okay, I think she'd enjoy company that's not family. She's in room sixteen."

The dragonrider breathed a sigh of relief and stepped into the brightly lit corridor, scanning the room numbers for sixteen. He found it easily enough, and glanced in. He saw a slender figure lying under the white sheets, face turned away, staring out the window. Her long, black hair was draped over the side of the bed, a glossy waterfall cascading down about a foot above the floor.

The boy shut his eyes, inhaled deeply, and turned the knob.

_**Just open your eyes  
Just open your eyes**_

_**And see that life is beautiful**_

_**Will you swear in your life**_

_**That no one will cry at my funeral**_

* * *

**The end!**

**I **_**loved**_** writing this story, and I had a lot of fun with it (I know, what a terrible word to use for such a morbid topic, huh?). **

**Before I go, I want to clear a few things up.**

**1. SELF-INJURERS ARE NOT SUICIDAL. This is a common misconception about self-harm. Cutting, or any other type of self-injury, serves as a release of emotion for the person, and self-harmers usually aren't suicidal. I just thought that it would add to my story.**

**2. I do hope that no one was triggered to do something drastic while reading this story. If you feel you are going to, please, **_**get help**_**. It's out there.**

**Watch for my one-shot, coming out in a couple weeks, and I'm currently brainstorming for another long story, so watch for that one too. I hope you enjoyed reading this, so until next time!**

**--Krista (Rainpath)**


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